Pardon sir, but this is NOT Rhode Island.

dammit AJ! I fart not just in your general direction, but right in your face! take that! pfft...

AJ: "But it's just so cute and little! How could I not pinch your bum?"

dammit AJ! when I said "please fondle my bum" I was merely quoting a Monty Python skit! gosh!

SOMEONE'S TOUCHING ME!!!!

LNP: I NEED AN ADULT!

Welcome to Bitch Sox Fundamentals Hour Episode 42, in which AJ demonstrates how to make it to second base.

I am sorry I tried to come up with a caption, but everything was bad, bad, bad. I guess in my old age I have become a bit of prevert!

Angry... that was too funny.. *falls on the floor*

Not to be outdone by the Twin's Assbats, the White Sox introduce their own game: Assgrab!

Well, right there's your problem. BG, you aren't looking close enough...

http://img318.imageshack.us/img318/9952/thief4ea.jpg

hahaha i could not stop LAUGHING!!!! hahaha great picture...hm...can't think of a caption...

Is this AJ trying to steal LNP's aura?

A variation on others:

"BAD TOUCH!"

Just like the rest of the season has gone, the Twins continue to literally get their asses handed to them by the White Sox.

(singing)"....Mungojerrie and Rumpleteaser..."

Dear Eric-

What the hell is that purply/pink thing in AJs hand? A Hello Kitty wallet? A stun pad?

Sheesh, I'm baffled.

Oh, and I hate the Bitch Sox.

Onward,

kal

A.J.: "Oh Nicky, You're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind, hey Nicky...hey Nicky..."

kal-

It looks like it might be a brownish wallet.

AJ apparently knows where the LNP Left-Handed Pitcher action figure button is.

Now if he could just find the Kung-Fu Grip..

HONK! HONK!

or

Whoo! Christmas goose came a little early this year.

or

Hmm. Achilles had a heel. Superman had kryptonite. I wonder ....

I went to the game and i totally don't remember that at all! hmm... but anyway, yeah, that totally creeps me out. i love how aj totally sucked in the two games (tues and thurs) that i saw of the series

Come on Nicky, we have to practice our ice dancing routine for the winter!

OR

You will NOT eat me! I will show you my kickboxing skills!

Ok, is it just me or have Twins fans been booing AJ? It seemed like, on TV, there was some anti-AJ at the Metrodome... Now, I don't know much about how Twins fans are, but I always kinda thought, well... AJ was the only Sox player you liked.

And another Twins question, as long as I'm here: did anybody ever consider referring to the Hubert H Humphrey Metrodome as the "Triple-H Dome"? Or just "Triple H"? "3 H's and a little M"?

"Wait, Nicky, what happened to the rest of the conga line?"

Dear Hannah,
that pic is from yesterday's game.

Dear random,
some of us don't like AJ, even from before he left the Twins. (I did not boo him, except quietly to myself.) and no, we just call it the Dome.

helpfully,
kafumbly

....Round the corner Fudge is made!

OR,

Oh, hark for I am slain.

"The dome" seems so simple and boring (I'm not saying our stadium has a good name or anything). I think that maybe somehow, by incorporating that other 3/4 of the full name of the place, you could spice it up or something.

Or maybe not. It's really not up to me.

or they could do the "in thing" now and name it something commercial-type, ala Bank One BallPark or US Cellular Field.

I would personally destroy the new Twins field if they did that.

Kaf- i swore aj never got to second when i went to the games, so that confused me. i was just hoping that someone had doctored that pick...

sox fan- i like the dome, the name, that is, although i don't mind the stadium either. but yeah, i thought aj had a huge ego while he was in mn, and thats a great excuse to boo (just a little, though) when he comes up to bat now that he's a sox. but you're totally right that the fans dont like him that much (a couple do, but we just ignore them... jk!)

Well, that clarifies things. I haven't really noticed the huge ego yet this season.

Karl, don't speak too soon - I might have been saying the same thing a few years ago. But here I am, doing absolutely nothing about the name change. You know, your small-market club get strapped for cash, stadium improvements need to be made... Suddenly it's "The 3M Dome" or something (Target and 3M are the only Minnesota companies I can think of...).

Dear Mr. Fan, you are right. There's absolutely no chance a new field isn't going to hve a corportate sponsorship, so we might as well get used to it. Unless BG can put together enough money to buy the naming rights herself.

As for AJ, he was very popular with Batgirl, and she is not in favor of the booing, though others may disagree. He was a key part of two championship teams. Some people don't like him, some are booing becaue he plays for the Sox now, and some because the people next to them are booing and it seems like fun.

Sincerely,
BG

kal-

Andy is correct.

Follow Baseketball's lead. The BeerDome. Or Preparation-H Stadium.

That movie is worth its weight in solid gold.

AJ looks like he's about to turn and throw LNP into center field. He's got a death grip and everything. Just chuck him like a shot putt.

Grab some, uh- bench?

AJ was my first boyfriend.

LNP is my current boyfriend.

*fans self*

In a pinch, Little Nicky Punto can really turn a double play!

LNP seems to be saying "GIMME AN 'F'!!"

Is he trying to tell us something? Are there other plays where he is forming other letters? Later, didn't he try to make a letter 'K' with Sox 1B Geoff Blum???

AJ: "I genuflect before you, oh Mini Home Run king!"

AJ: "...and when I do THIS, his other leg goes up!"

hehehe. Kojak's on a roll.

"Dear Penthouse..."

AJ: "You have, a magnificent heine...I want to be friends with it."

AJ: Chacin
LNP: Yeah, that is what I said. Chacon.
AJ: No, it is pronounced Chacin.
LNP: Yeah. Chacon.

Oops, wrong game. Sorry. Back to bed...

This was a very dissapointing loss. No ifs, ands, or buts. This was not a great outcome and I did not like how this game ended. It was a joke. Look I could live with losing to the Sux, but the tenth inning was affected by the umpire. I have no idea how Blum was called safe. He was out IMO. I looked at the replay seven or eight times and I could have swore L-Rod made the tag with his leg on the base. I am 100% positive that it was safe. A monkey could have figured that out. I thought that call was a complete joke. It's a damn shame the umpire has to play a role in this game.

If you ask me, the umpiring crew was horrible in this series. It seemed the Sux got all the calls like the strikes and etc. The Sux starters had a huge strike zone in this series while the Twins starters had to earn their strikes. Then you got this garbage today to affect the outcome. The umpires should be ashamed of themselves.

Sux could not make it a series without doing something stupid. That leg kick by Blum was Bruce Bowen-like. He used his leg to kick L-Rod in the stomach. WTF was that? Was the Sux way to show that they retailiated with the Torii Hunter knockdown to Jamie Burke? If it was, it was pathetic. [EDITED BY BG. THERE ARE NO CALLS FOR HITTING PEOPLE ON THE HEAD ON BG.com]

How good are the Sux? How good are they that they had to rely on the umps to bail them out? They did not impress me in this series or last week. Yeah their pitchers did great, but Sean Douglass and other stiffs has had success against the Twins hitters all year. Heck even Randy Johnson can shut them out so it's not big deal. When the Sux play the Angels, Yankees, and Red Sox, they are going to be so exposed that it's not going to be funny. They aint' that good. Sux hitters did crap in this series. For a so-called powerful lineup that they have, they looked hopeless against the Twins pitching. What's going to happen when they face Boston's pitching or any other good team's pitching. They haven't proven they can beat anyone good and if they need the umps help to beat the Twins, then how good they really are.

Why didn't Scott Ulleger argue that call by Blum is beyond me? You know Gardy would have race the mound with that ridiculous call. Gardenhire apparently had the flu in the middle of the game so he had to sit in the dugout.

Carlos was superb today with the fact that his strike zone was not as big as Garland's. He was the better pitcher today.

I had no idea WTF Michael Ryan was thinking hesitating when he ran. You never hestitate when you run to the next base. That type of stuff you learn at little leagues.

This game was not as great as Tuesday's game. I thought it was boring.

It's dissapointing that it ended this way and it was even dissapointing that there was no retailation after Blum's Bruce Bowen-style like kick at Luis Rodriguez's stomach. There has to be a reprecussion next time both teams meet each other. Blum shouldn't have gotten away with it.

Twins got nothing to hang their heads at. They will be okay. It will be different the next time they play at She-ca-go for sure.

Between this picture and making Paul Konerko look like a total fool, the loss was completely worth it.

BTW, does anyone know how to draft a proposal for "Legovision Park"?

Mmmmm, A perfect Handful!

[EDITED]

Blum was absolutely safe at third. Instead of fully extending his leg at the beginning of his slide, Blum jammed it into the ground. Rodriguez's swipe tag missed. After the swipe went by, Blum extended his leg and tagged the base.

This was a very good series, hard fought and for the most part well-played. Neither the Twins nor the White Sox have any reason to be ashamed.

"Hey Nick, can you believe this is how they taught me to break-up double plays with the Giants?"

AJ, I just had a physical last week...

"AJ, I'm Nicky Punto, not Nicki Punto."

A.J. can’t remember the last time he was so physically close to Little Nicky Punto. There had been chats-in-passing and post-game congratulatory butt-pats, of course, but these were fleeting. Now, pausing on 2nd, he watches Nicky bemusedly while the sprite-like former teammate relates some cinematic scene. As he listens, A.J. remembers how animated his adorable little friend could get when telling a story. He notes the way Nicky’s eyes flash and then almost vanish behind his long lashes as the pixie-ish player matches the ebbs and tides of the action in the stories with his expressions. Nicky beams during the exciting parts and then coyly casts those rich brown eyes downward every time he meets his listener’s intense gaze.

LNP: Ok, so he’s just clinging to these jagged
rocks, right? Thousands of feet above the
water on this sheer cliff, and Fezzik
says, 'He’s got very good arms.' And I’ll
give you one guess as to what Vizzini
says. (I still can’t believe you haven’t
seen this movie, by the way . . .)

So anyway, the Man in Black manages to
throw a leg upward and find a new handhold,
like this, and you can see on his face that
he’s struggling a little, but for some
mysterious reason he is super-humanly
driven, and Inigo says, 'Oh my god . . .
He’s climbing.'

A.J. can hear Nicky’s breaths midst the narration, and, startled, notices his own mounting heartbeat matching the increasing speed of Nicky’s words – as though the shared tempo of these two, in this moment, defies the slow murmuring, incessant humming, and sonorous organ tones that surround them.

Then, a swanky bass riff fills the Dome.

A.J. throws his inhibitions to the wind and grabs Nicky . . . firmly.

He pulls him down into his lap.

A.J.: I’m Le Tired, Nicky. And I’m attracted to
you. And now that I’m a Bitch Sock, I find
that I’ve waited far too long to tell you
how this song, this music, your playing
makes me feel. Let’s just snuggle down on
this padded cushion and ignore the
craziness of the world and the loyalties
that would prevent our happiness . . .

Thank goodness for Batgirl and the Batlings that contribute - it brings a smile and chuckle every day!

And I am told that Nicky never played with A.J.

Sorry - I'm a recent immigrant from Montana.

I have no explanation. The picture is a mystery.

"You've got to pick a pocket or two, boys,
You've got to pick a pocket or two."

My first thought was:

"And with that, AJ, a double play. Siddown, Bitch."

which morphed into:

"Yikes, Little Nicky Punto, when I was here, we were taught to, you know, throw to first and send the ball boy out to get the ladies' numbers, not bean them in the head and then visit'em in the hospital later."

when the following was brought to my attention:

"August 24, 7th inning, White Sox batting against Terry Mulholland.
A.J. Pierzynski: singled to center.
Jermaine Dye: reached on fielder's choice to shortstop, Pierzynski out at second, Dye to second on shortstop Punto's throwing error.
Aaron Rowand: grounded out to shortstop.
Joe Crede: grounded out to third.
End of Inning (0 Runs, 1 Hit, 1 Error)"

Hannah, could that have been the play you don't recall? Punto's follow-through does have that "oh, my! that was an ass throw" look to it.

I was going to try to come up with a witty caption, but then I saw Eric's picture, and it's not even worth the trouble now. Nothing can top THAT. : )

My friends and I think Hostess should pay for a retractable roof for the new stadium. The trade off? We name it the TwinkieDome.

http://www.visionhelp.com/image/pierzynski.jpg

behold the creepiness

(Full disclosure- I am a White Sox fan.)

Leslie Monteiro- It appears that you are allowing your fanhood cloud your objective judgment. Every replay of the Blum play at third in the 10th inning clearly shows that the tag was a swing and a miss. You have to tag the runner in that situation, and while the throw beat Blum to the base, Blum evaded the tag.

Here in Chicago, we could just as easily complain that the play that allowed the Twins to tie the game in the 9th was botched by the umps. The "double" that allowed the tying run to score was a foul ball, touched by Konerko in foul territory, yet inexplicably called fair. The first base ump made the call, yet the rules don't allow him to do so until the ball passes the base (which it had not).

So, if you want to have any legitimacy when you refer to the Chicago American League Ball Club as the "Bitch Sox," you ought to evaluate the degree to which you yourself are bitching.

Dear Mr./Ms. Montero,

Now, now.

Sincerely,
Batgirl

Ok mister bitch sox fan, if you are going to correct someone on the often humbling and complex rules of baseball be careful.
The statement, The first base ump made the call, yet the rules don't allow him to do so until the ball passes the base (which it had not)., Is incorrect. The first baseman touched the ball before it passed first base and at that instant the ump must rule fair or foul based on where the ball is at the time it was touched. Remember if any part of the ball is touching the foul line which is a verticle plane, it is a fair ball.

Someone forgot to tell AJ that LNP is supposed to be a NON-sexual man crush

Either that or AJ was just trying to see it they were real or implants.

Aaron- please stipulate the rule to which you refer because I think you are erroneous. Consider that many bunts roll down the first- or third-base lines and that the fielders will generally wait until a borderline ball rolls fould before picking it up. It's always been my understanding that a ball is called fair or foul before passing the base depending on where it is first touched and after passing the base depending on where it first touches down (ground, structure, etc.)

erikab- boy, it shows that you tried very hard to create good fanfiction.

Well, yes and no Ump21.

According to Rule 9.04
(a) The umpire in chief shall ... (3) Call and declare fair balls and fouls except those commonly called by field umpires. What plays are "commonly called by field umpires" could be up for debate, but I would think the play in question is one of them.

[NOW. NOW]

29

Batgirl, did you edit my post? It is your site, and therefore your right. Just wanted to make clear that the teasing of ump21's obvious typo was meant in good fun.

Dear Readers,

BG welcomes conversation about that or any other call, but it must remain respectful. If not, BG will close these comments immediately, which would be unfortunate as it is a caption contest.

A simple reminder of rules on Batgirl--there will be no insulting other posters. Also, BG really, really does not like it when there are calls for hitting baseball players in the head.

Firmly,
BG

Ok DJ, the spelling comment was a bit much. If you're going to drag this into something that petty, it's probably a good idea to move along. Surely some White Sox fan has a decent blog out there.

Dear DJ,

I apologize. I misread it. I'm a little on guard as things seemed they had a potential to be testy, and BG despies flame wars.

Sincerely,
BG

Full disclosure: I am a Twins fan...
But it has been my understanding that the title of Bitch Sox relates not to the disposition of said team's fans, but rather to the propensity of said team's players to bitch and moan about the unfairness of it all that despite their self described amazing talent, the Twins manage to win the division. Therefore it is possible to have bitchy or in this case bitching Twins fans, but this is no way detracts from the "Bitch" in Bitch Sox.

No apologies needed, Batgirl. Your vigilance is praiseworthy.

Dear Will,

sadly we have no blog. We are the blogless. We do have a forum called WSI, but it is run by Nazi's. I myself have been banned for using the ass word (Can I say that here? Sure I can.)

So we must take comfort wherever we can find it. And while I don't want to suggest that Batgirl (or her affiliates) provides comfort to the enemy, she sure does a fine job of making us laugh our silly asses (oops, there- I said it again) off.

(Parenthetically)
kojak the blogless

Dear Mr. Kojak,

BG doesn't understand. If you can't use the word "ass," how do you talk about baseball?

Confused,
BG

Thanks for finding the rule, DJ. You beat me to it.

As I see it, Konerko touched the ball in foul territory a good foot and a half in front of the bag. At that point, the ball is foul. Even so, I'm especially glad that that call ultimately didn't end up changing the result of the game.

Then, there would be bitching!

Seriously, I really enjoy this website, and how intelligent and insightful its contributors are. (This is not sarcasm.) It's a very positive community of people with the affliction of hard-core baseball fandom, and even as a Sox fan, I appreciate it a lot. I'm not trying to intrude on your community, but the "Bitch Sox" moniker tends to get to me. I hope that the Sox' players will eventually earn their way out of that designation in your eyes.

AJ: "Nicky, do your ninja pose again! no, not that one... the other one..."

Dear Mrs. BG,

Why, we come to Batgirl.com of Coors!

Sincerely,
kojak

Aaron,

Having seen a view of the play in which the camera was basically right above the first base bag, I have to say that it really looked like the ball was in the air directly over the line (making it fair) when it was deflected foul by hitting Konerko's glove. In which case, the fair ball ruling would be correct, as fielders cannot turn a fair ball into a foul ball.

Does this blog make me look phat?

Just curious...

And a pinch to grow an inch -

Uh - AJ it's not my birthday

Oh it's NOT your birthday - oops!!

Wonder Woman

WSI has language filters. There's no way you were banned because you used the word 'ass'.

Nazis? LOL

(full disclosure--I am a Twins fan)

I watched the game live on MLB Extra Innings. I have to agree with "infield". Konerko touched the ball in fair territory and knocked it foul--making it a fair ball and the first base umps call--he was two feet away. Also LRod missed the swipe tag at 3B in the 10th by a mile--so the umps got both calls right.

How come no comments on why M. Ryan couldnt get to 3B while running on the 3-2 pitch--the Twins should have had a run that inning when they got 3 hits and Ryan got thrown out at the plate...that actually was the game right there. Hawk noted it at the time.

Twins played Sox well considering Polka patrol was OF instead of Soul Patrol for 2 and a half of the 3 games.

Dearest Me,

I actually used asterisks in place of "ass": ***
so they banned me for what they call "bypassing the language filters"

Sieg Heil,
kojak

So late to the party:

A.J.: "I've missed the sweetcheeks so much."

LNP: "But I'm not Torri, I'm Little Nicky Punt ... OH!"

CONFUSED TOUCH!!!

A.J.: BG was wrong. You're the real Sweetcheeks.