Twins at Yankees. Yankees 6, Twins 3.
It could!
We could have invented a whole robot race to do mindless labor and those robots could have decided to exterminate all of humanity and we could be the only survivors of a massive attack, running around on the last remaining Battlestar leading a rag-tag fugitive fleet trying to avoid the Cylons and perpetuate the human race even though we ran out of deodorant a frackin' age ago.
And if we were, I bet we'd say, "Man, what I'd really like right now is to see Joe Mays give up a three-run homer to Wiggle-Bat Sheffield. That would rock.
Or, hey...
We could be engaged to a young up and coming Jedi that we've known since he was just an itty bitty annoying little bastard and we could be pregnant with his twin babies and then that Jedi could get manipulated and turn to the Dark Side and hunt down and kill all the other Jedi, then get made into hamburger by Obi Wan Kenobi.
And if that was the case, when we are giving birth, literally dying from fear and heartbreak, we would think, "Gee, what would be super fun right now would be to see Aaron 'I'm Not So' Small, late of the Albuquerque Isotopes, retire 12 Twins batters in a row."
Oh, or, how about this:
We could be astronauts thrown through time and space and we could crash land on a strange planet. We could then be taken captive by a group of simians with British accents who treat humans like animals. The dirty apes would then torture and vivisect and lobotomize us and be really condescending, too.
And, if that happened, when we tried to make our escape and run to the "Forbidden Zone" only to discover the remnants of Lady Liberty, when we fell to our knees in horror, when we looked up to the heavens and screamed, we might say, "Gosh, what I'd like right now is to watch Joe Mays load the bases with a one-run deficit, and what I would further like is to see Robinson Cano then hit a single with the bases so juiced to put my team behind 6-3."
Oh, oh, I know!
We could be on a terraforming colony on some distant planet, and then the aliens invade the planet because the alien queen thinks it would be a really nice place to raise a family. And these aren't nice aliens, like ET or Gonzo, but really grody, aliens with acid for spit and they start kidnapping us all, one by one, and impregnating us with grody alien babies and then encasing us in these giant slime-cocoons.
And should that be our fate, when the alien babies start exploding out of our tummies, we might think, "Boy, what I'd really like to do right now is watch the Minnesota Twins lose two of three to the Yankees."
Or we might not. If we're lucky, when the alien Cylon Sith apes come to take us away and impregnate us and patronize us, we might think of happier things, like BatKitties or Blizzards or Johan Santana. Or we might be sitting there with the Sith babies exploding out of our tummies and we might look back on the last two weeks of Twins baseball and think, "Well, it could be worse."
There was a guy wearing a Bat Girl shirt in the RF bleachers today, if that makes you feel any better. (Not that I care TOO much that you feel better, cause, well, I'm a Yankee fan, but I like your site so I'd thought I'd mention it :-)
Posted by: Jen at July 28, 2005 09:54 PMTo quote a man who is not my father: "That, son, was an opportunity."
The Twins left 19 men on base this series. That's significantly more, btw, than they brought home.
An all out hunt is on for the Orioles' offense... I think the Twins offense might be hiding with it. I'll keep an eye out.
A side note: in their 4 game series with Texas this week, the Orioles left 51 men on base. 51. So, indeed, BG, it could be worse.
Posted by: CarrieICL at July 28, 2005 10:03 PMOf those 19 men they left on base...how many were during the 2nd game?
We won that game, which means the men on didn't matter.
What matters is the men on in the games we lost. How many of THOSE were there.
Posted by: Torhu at July 28, 2005 10:26 PMSomeone said it could be worse. I'm still failing to see a way how, though. I mean, I suppose we could've scored no runs in this series, but I'm not sure a team as talented at leaving men on base as this one is could manage that. I suppose we could've lost all three, but my brain refuses to see that as a possibility.
Excellent re-cap, Batgirl. It DID make me giggle, and that's something, I suppose.
Posted by: Just Beth at July 28, 2005 10:49 PMIf I'm giving birth to Sith babies, I'm finding solace in the fact that it could be worse: Gary "Nervous" Sheffield could be hitting a homerun off Joe Mays instead.
Posted by: amr at July 29, 2005 01:16 AMThere was a guy in the left field box seats wearing a Batgirl shirt today as well.
Me.
That makes TWO Batgirl shirts in Yankee stadium.
Woot!
Posted by: NY-Brian at July 29, 2005 01:47 AMOkay, I'm not male. Never have been. So I can imagine that someone in the anecdote to which CarrieICL refers might disagree with me. But I find that quote much more appropriate to the series with the MFYankees than it was to the situation to which it was first applied. Just sayin'...
Posted by: twink at July 29, 2005 01:50 AMor you could have seen your glorious, ordered Galactic Empire, with it's well disciplined legions and technological advancements destroyed by a bunch of anarchic revolutionaries seeking to bring back their old 'Republic' (which in fact was little more than a backward Theocracy based on a monopoly of military power - political power in 4 feet long, glows and grows out of a light saber) and, as you watch civilisation sink back into the dark ages, you think, 'oh crap, they're going to bring back baseball which means more Yankee wins when it's clear to everyone with eyes that they are too old, have no pitching, no centrefielder, their best shortstop is playing third, and they should be at least 10 games out by now but aren't and probably, powered by such blockbuster acquisitions as Al Leiter and Hideo Nomo, they're going to actually win this thing. And they call us the Evil Empire!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: dan in london at July 29, 2005 04:49 AM
Damn you all to HEELLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!
(God, I love that movie...)
Posted by: TwinsGoddess at July 29, 2005 10:29 AMI appreciate you putting everything into perspective, Batgirl, I really do.
It's just that, well, even with things in perspective, I still hate to see my beloved Twins struggling like this.
Posted by: brent at July 29, 2005 10:33 AM
...or it could be even worse. Ron Gardenhire, in a desperate attempt to find some offensive punch, could have argued and lobbied Terry Ryan to bring in an aging second baseman named BOOne from Seattle, whom a last-place team had already given up on. Then he could come in with 120 (count 'em, 120!) ass-bats and a Todd Walker-model fielding glove and take called third strikes and ground into double plays and hit 200-foot fly balls and flub routine defensive opportunities. But, no, not even Batgirl could make that up, right?
Love the Sci-Fi references!
We'll see what Jedi mind tricks TR can play against opposing Sith G.M.'s this weekend.
Maybe there will be a "New Hope" via trade!
It could be worse... We could wake up one day and have no Bat-Girl to make everything better!
Posted by: aussie at July 29, 2005 05:36 PMRD, You made me hope for just one brief moment that the scenario you described was ALSO fiction.
But no.
Thanks for putting it all in context Batgirl! I am glad that I am not stuck on a spaceship traveling to Jupitor with a computer that suddenly goes manic. For that would be worse than losing 2 of 3 to the Yankees.
I will be at Miller Park this weekend proudly showing off my JJ NSMC shirt!! This was supposed to be a 2 birds in 1 stone trip. FINALLY see Miller Park and see this Barry Bonds guy play. Oh well one out of two is better than having to chase down renegade androids who have become self aware and decide to start killing humans.
From Page 2 -
Cooperstown's Future Collection:
"37. Johan Santana and 38. Joe Mauer
I like that Santana wasn't overly used as a young pitcher. I like that he's already won a Cy Young Award. I like that in an "off" year he has a 154-28 strikeout-to-walk ratio. As for Mauer, he has, as they say, more tools than the Iron Chefs."
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=schoenfield/050729&num=5
Thanks BG I feel better...you're always such a "glass half full" kinda person!
And I agree wholeheartedly...It could have been MUCH worse. I might have had to endure that stretch without scotch. Now THAT would be scary and worse then even a vivisection by condescending primates.
hmmm...is there such a thing as a "glass always full" kinda person? If so, that's me!
Posted by: SDave at July 29, 2005 05:39 PMIt can be worse you could be the Royals or the Rockies.
Posted by: mike at July 29, 2005 05:39 PMAt least with the Royals or Rockies their fans probably didn't go into the season expecting great things, and there certainly weren't a handful of baseball media types picking them to win the world series. I think it's the "not living up to expectations" part that's been most disappointing, at least to me.
But hey, at least I'm not a highly-trained vampire slayer with superhuman strength who has to assemble the remaining potential slayers to face off in a final battle against evil itself while aligning myself with another vampire who I've had a rocky relationship with in the past and a witch who just a year before went apeshit and damn near destroyed the planet. I'm glad I'm not in that position.
Help...I can't get my password to Batcave to work.
I'm so lonely...
*Looks in on Game Thread party...cries*
Posted by: Torhu at July 29, 2005 08:11 PMWell, if I'm going to be traded to Boston, I might as well make sure I can give them a leg-up while I'm able.
And those weren't my runs anway.
Posted by: JC Romero at July 29, 2005 08:14 PM