Twins at Detroit. Twins 10, Tigers 5.
Hey, Batgirl.
So, um, I'm suspended for the game tonight and I thought I'd use this chance to apologize to you and your readers. I said some things on Monday that I really shouldn't have said. I know you didn't fall down that hole on purpose. I know you wouldn't do that, Batgirl. Sure, you milked it for all it was worth (I mean are you on DQ's payroll, BG? I thought you were lactose intolerant!) but I don't think you did it on purpose.
And you know how I said Hunter Wendelstedt was a big—well, it rhymes with "trucking bassbowl." That was a little uncalled for. Sometimes we say things, Batgirl, we say things we don't mean because we're angry. I'm sure it's happened to you. It's just, I bet when it happened to you no one put it on the internet. And I bet no one remixed it to a groovy dance beat. And I bet your wife didn't listen to both the thing-you-shouldn't-have-said and the remix. I'm suspended for one game, but I'm grounded for two weeks. Meanwhile, Hrbie keeps leaving the thing on my voice mail. Very funny, lard ass.
Okay, anyway, so my point is I'm really sorry. It was nice of you to edit out all those bad words, though I noticed you seem to have a slightly different standard when someone else blogs for you. But that's your prerogative, I guess. I'm just saying.
Well, anyway, it's just the 4th inning, but the game's going pretty well. We scored 5 runs in the second inning which was pretty cool. Sure, when I manage, the guys can't get a run to save my life, but they go all Offensive-Powerhouse for Scottie Ullger. Even Morneau got a hit, and he couldn't hit a pitch thrown by my Aunt Fanny, and she died in 1995. But it was nice to see that there is a force more incompetent than our offense, and that is the Tigers D. It was cute when Pudge tried to throw to the first baseman, and the first baseman wasn't there. No wonder he lost a jillion pounds; his soul's getting eaten away every night. That's got to be, oh—
Huh. Well, you know? The ump just warned both benches. Interesting. Fascinating, really. Jason Johnson goes butt-hunting for Little Nicky Punto, and they warn both benches. Well.
Normally, this is the kind of thing that would really pi—I mean, make me angry, but not today. There's no way I'm going to call the umpire a trucking bassbowl, because you shouldn't call people names. There are several reasons for this, including: 1) It isn't nice and 2) You get grounded. And Ullger did a good job of protesting the warning anyway—really, he sort of sauntered out and muttered a few things and meekly went back into the dugout like a good little boy. That's appropriate behavior—we shouldn't kick dirt and throw things at umpires because umpires are our friends. Even though it is absolutely ridiculous that they warned our bench when we didn't do a single darned thing. Even though they've taken away the inside part of the plate from Johan. Even though we can't protect our guys now. Even though we've gotten screwed on that all year. Even though this rule is the most moronic thing to happen to baseball since Hunter Wend—Ah, never mind. Well, anyway, Ullger did a good job; he just registered his disapproval and sat back down and, now, the game can continue, nice and civilized, and no one has to get tossed, and no one's wife has to get upset. It's a good way of doing things, if you don't mind being a huge pansy.
Huh. Well, you know the funny thing? They just called a Craig Monroe foul ball a homer. The third base ump didn't see it right and called it wrong, and then they had a conference, and then, well, I guess the other umps didn't see it either. The funny thing is Craig Monroe saw it—he started running then stopped and turned back toward home and said a very naughty word, the kind of word that can get a grown man grounded. Everyone in Tiger stadium—or whatever the heck it's called now—saw it, apparently, except for the four umps. I guess that's the problem when you spend so much time with your head up your bass.
Well, Scottie's barking a little more now, but I have to say, he doesn't really have the hang of this. What you have to do is kick the dirt around home plate so the ump has to clean it off. Otherwise, you just look like a chicken flapping around out there, and unless you lay out a big chicken turd right there on the field, it's not going to do anything. And if Little Nicky Punto can hold you back, well, you’re not angry enough, I tell you what. And now the whole dugout's barking. Heh, I think Newmie just questioned whether the ump's parents were married upon the occasion of his conception and eventual birth. Ooh, Liddle got in a good one. He may be a pretty boy, but he sure can swear. And I think Radke just—oh. Oh my! Wow, well, I never would have thought of putting those particular words together in that particular way, but, you know Radke's a bit of a surrealist.
Oh, huh. Well, Brad's in here with me now so I'm going to pass this thing on. One sec.
Brad Radblog.
Twins at Detroit. Twins 10, Tigers 5.
[EDITED].
Posted by Batgirl at July 21, 2005 08:53 PMI have to say that Bradke's swear session is the most wonderful thing ever.
Posted by: CarrieICL at July 21, 2005 09:40 PMBrad - you are one sexy beast =)Really you are - I saw you on the news yesterday - wow you get better with age. Oops sorry for getting off track.
Oh yeah - he maybe be little but boy LNP sure can get fired up - I didn't see the game but my sister was giving me the play by play over the phone. I'll have to see the news.
Much Love
Wonder Woman
That's the Bradke we all know and love. Short, simple and to the point.
Posted by: mk at July 21, 2005 09:49 PMCouldn't agree more, Carrie
Posted by: Katie at July 21, 2005 10:02 PMI don't think I've ever seen Brad show that much emotion. It was beautiful to behold. Sort of like the homerun Ramirez hit to put Boston back on top in the ninth.
Posted by: Attyfan at July 21, 2005 10:12 PMGardy, Bradke, I love you both. Thanks for the running commentary.
Posted by: ndtf at July 21, 2005 10:22 PMRed Sox win - wohooooo
Posted by: wonder woman at July 21, 2005 10:31 PMWhat did Brad say/do? I'm very interested.
Posted by: Haplo at July 21, 2005 10:33 PMHaplo, Brad said [edited]. I couldn't believe those words came out of his mouth!
this was the best game ever!
Posted by: kafumbly at July 21, 2005 10:36 PMhahaha... I finally had a chance to listen to Gardy with a groovy dance beat... I cried, it's so funny! Batgirl, you rule.
oh, and Shaggy with three 1-2-3 innings, how hot is that?! I have a totally different mental image of him after this game... *sigh*
NICE finish!
Posted by: Torhu at July 21, 2005 10:49 PMFor those of you who want to know what Brad really said, I've been told the game will be replayed at noon tomorrow on FSN. I'll be taping it so I can try to read his lips when the magic words come out.
Posted by: Nick at July 21, 2005 10:51 PMA funny thing--when I played the "Showtime" dance mix in my i-Tunes player, it faded the end of the track right into the "I... I love the colorful clothes she wears/ And the way the sunlight plays upon her hair" opening of the Beach Boys' "Good Vibrations." And it works beautifully, like the tracks belong together.
Posted by: frightwig at July 21, 2005 10:54 PMYou know, frightwig, there was a part (I don't remember where, though it might have been the end) that reminded me of Good Vibrations when I listened to it. Great mix, great song!
Posted by: Nick at July 21, 2005 11:00 PMBITCHES LOSE! Think of it as a bonus :)
Posted by: Torhu at July 21, 2005 11:01 PMSaw the replay, reminds me of when Valentin or whatever dropped Jones foul-ball, then watched as Jones lined the next pitch to the outfield to score the winning run.
Posted by: Torhu at July 21, 2005 11:07 PMIt has been three days since I shaved my head in the name of breaking the Twins bad juju...in that time:
3 Twins Wins
3 Whitesox losses
'Nuff said, hehe.
Posted by: Cyberspud at July 21, 2005 11:09 PMspeaking of "clean" swear words...can anyone remember what LeCroy's swear substitute was?
Posted by: tim teufel guy at July 21, 2005 11:21 PMLeCroy Sez "Foot!"
Posted by: dma at July 21, 2005 11:36 PMBrad got a special mention on bbtn. must have been a really bad call for him to get thrown out.
Posted by: Mike&Jane at July 22, 2005 12:09 AMI saw that too. They even had the footage...it was ever so foul.
Posted by: Torhu at July 22, 2005 12:20 AMSeeing Radke get all worked up made me giggle. It was also funny seeing Newmie get all defensive and confused because he thought he was the one thrown out.
Oh, and Jason Johnson needs a muzzle. Little Nicky Punto could totally take him.
Posted by: Candace at July 22, 2005 12:25 AMI was worried when LNP was having words with Johnson. Doesn't he remember being eaten? Don't get anywhere near a Tigers pitcher, Nicky!
Posted by: SaraZ at July 22, 2005 12:36 AMHas Brad ever been ejected before this game?
Inquiring minds...
Posted by: Eric at July 22, 2005 12:59 AMBert pointed out that he had been chucked once during a similar (general swearing and throwing stuff but remaining in the dugout) sort of episode. He said he asked the ump (I love Bert--he referred to the ump as Mr. Name, but twink can't remember the name) what he had done to get thrown out, and the ump said that since he wasn't pitching that day, he figured it was the best way to make a statement without hurting the team.
And hey, Gardy! Lay off poor Scottie Ullger. He gets tossed, while you're suspended, who manages? TC Bear? Batmom?
Posted by: twink at July 22, 2005 01:20 AMyankees lose
red sox win
mets win
twins win
terrorists' bombs don't work
A good day all round really (except for the cricket of course)
x
Posted by: Dan in London at July 22, 2005 01:47 AMfrom today's SPPP, Gardy about Morneau and his hitting slump:
"I don't want him to get into so deep of a hole here where he's not going to be able to get out," Gardenhire said.
somebody put a sign next to that hole! Doc's about to fall in!
I cannot wait until kafumbly brings me a tape of this game.
This is one of many hilarious entries BG, pass my thanks on to gardy and Brad.
Posted by: aurora at July 22, 2005 07:15 AMI agree with mk: that's the Bradke we know.
And, well, I didn't know he had it in him, and I'm kinda proud of him.
Makes me wish I had seen the game--or had a VCR so I could see a re-play.
Oh yeah, and Gardy and Bradke did a great job filling for Batgirl today. Good job, guys! After that whole (pun intended) incident earlier this week, she needed a break!
Posted by: Just Beth at July 22, 2005 08:10 AMThe ump that threw Bert out was Nestor Chylak not to be confused with the moneylendor in Venice.
Posted by: Will Young at July 22, 2005 08:18 AMIf anyone does figure out what Brad said, please fill the rest of us in!
I wonder if that third-base umpire's going to apologize for the bad call before today's game? Sometimes they do.
Posted by: infield at July 22, 2005 08:54 AMahh... Gardy, you were just stellar in your repentant Blogging. Great summation!!
Brad, well, for the record, that was very shameful thing to say. *WINK*
Posted by: CapitalBabs at July 22, 2005 09:13 AMInfield,
I don't recall the exact quote, but the words truck, or trucking were involved.... Hope that helps.
Posted by: mnminx at July 22, 2005 09:13 AMI find it fairly amusing that the Tigers' website says that one of the few bright spots in last night's game was Monroe's homerun. They mention the Twins' objection, but never actually say that it WAS a foul ball.
Posted by: Salt-Man Z at July 22, 2005 09:20 AMSalt-Man-
If you watch the replay that they have posted on the Tigers site though, they have Dick & Bert's call, show the replay that clearly shows it was foul, and have the audio of Dick & Bert calling it a bad call.
"Jason Johnson goes butt-hunting for Little Nicky Punto"
I can certainly embrace the inclination, however the approach is all wrong...
Posted by: BAT bandwagoner at July 22, 2005 10:22 AMthe write up in the Detroit News also does not say it was clearly foul in the replays.
http://www.detnews.com/2005/tigers/0507/22/D01-256188.htm
then again, the STrib and SPPP writeups don't really say that, either.
Posted by: kafumbly at July 22, 2005 10:35 AMThis from Grandpa Sports today ...
Bring Koskie back
There have been constant rumors that the Twins are talking to the Reds about a trade for third baseman Joe Randa.
Now the latest rumor is that the Twins are talking to the Red Sox about a trade to include third baseman Bill Mueller.
I've got a better idea. Try to bring back Corey Koskie, who is sorely missed both on the field and in the clubhouse after signing with Toronto in the offseason.
I hate to say it, but Sid actually makes sense today.
Posted by: Hegs at July 22, 2005 10:42 AMthis has absolutely no bearing whatsoever on the topic, but i had to say it.
the twins need money for a retractable roof, right? so what if several of the twins players pose in a calender. they wouldn't have to be naked- there would be strategically placed bats, gloves, and (pardon the pun) balls. i am of the opinion this would be the easiest and quickest way to raise money. i mean, wouldn't YOU pay money to see Torii Hunter almost naked? i know i would
Posted by: kierra at July 22, 2005 12:00 PMel diablo thoroughly appreciates Bradke's new artistic direction. He's really been reading up on the surrealists and the Dadaists.
Good on you, Bradke, just smashing work!
Posted by: el diablo at July 22, 2005 12:16 PMI recorded the game, and I watched the replay of the Bradke tossing over and over. The cameras don't really show the dugout until after the ump throws Brad out. But after he was tossed, Brad certainly made it clear how he felt. And yes, some reference to "truck" was made.
k-bro
Posted by: k-bro at July 22, 2005 12:26 PMIt was pretty clear what Bradke said: "F**k you! You're a f**king a**hole!" Clear as the proverbial bell. Wouldn't be surprised if it's edited out of the replay.
Posted by: LaurieNY at July 22, 2005 12:26 PMwell, I'm taping the replay at this very moment (I hope... if my VCR is working properly), so we'll see...
Posted by: kafumbly at July 22, 2005 12:37 PMI too am taping the replay. I really hope they don't edit it...
Posted by: Nick at July 22, 2005 12:54 PMDan in London:
I can't agree more. Are the Mets the NL, East-Coast equivalent of the Twins? Probably not. But I root for them.
Probably just because of Dougie.
Posted by: Haplo at July 22, 2005 12:59 PM"Jason Johnson goes butt-hunting for Little Nicky Punto"
I didn't know Gardy wrote MLB slash in his spare time, but I guess he can do what he wants on his hard-earned off-days.
Posted by: Kurtis at July 22, 2005 05:25 PM