Hmmm...Mauer's and Morneau's injuries...I don;t know if I want to picture the afflicted areas

Yeah, what was with Lima tonight? I've paid attention to all his other starts, and he's been throwing ass-balls all year. Is he really that good? Did he start out slow? Is he good enough to be traded to a contender for more oddly named players like An-Hhel Berroa (he of awful mugshot) and Ambiorix Burgos (who is not Hungarian despite the last name).

PS. Matt Stairs is Matthew Lecroy crossed with Gary Bussey. But did he shave his head?

Anyone else laugh out loud at the Mauer/Morneau 'injuries'? Sounds kinda painful.

DARN IT, MAUER AND MORNEAU!!!

Don't make me...

Just looked on MLB.com, looks like Oakland just took the lead from the Bitch Sox...Who is Oakland's closer (I hope he is good!)

Well, the nice thing is that Mauer and Morneau didn't go blind....obviously there's no truth to those rumors.

Tbird, don't look at the palms of their hands LOL

Bobby Kielty is up to bat with two on and two out! Go Bobby go!

Worrying about the Sox early in the season is like worrying about the sun when it gets eclipsed. That will happen once in awhile, sometimes even this far north, but it's not gonna last.

I just realized that we're in first place in the WC standings. 1 Game ahead of the BoSox.

And the ChiSox just lost...

If the season ended today... We'd be playing at Baltimore.

And a lot of people would be pissed because that was a damned short season.

Dear Batgirl,

As one of the few A's fans in Chicago, I take great pleasure in letting you know we beat the Bitch Sox 9 to 7 tonight in possibly the ugliest game played in this century. Errors, bad judgement calls, goofs, poor hitting and fielding, bad umpire calls. We had it all. In the end the A's won so all is forgiven, especially in the bottom of the 8th when the Bitch Sox shortstop (defensive replacement!) went after a grounder and had it pass between his legs to score the go-ahead run from 2nd. At no time did that shortstop come in contact with the ball. It was that kind of night, for both sides.

- Ray in Chicago

Juan Rincon ate all the mints off the turn-down service cart and got a major case of the Nook Logans.

My favorite part of the story, but we better find him some pepto before we need him again.

Yes, the Bitch Sox's replacement shortstop was momentarily possessed by the spirit of Jose Valentin.

I'm so glad that someone other than me noticed the Royals' pixie jersies of shame. I think I scared my father and myself by commenting about how those jersies were so last season. I really need to get out more. Still, despite many dangerous incidents caused by too much down time, the Twins managed to pull off a credible win.

P.S BG, how exactly did you find out the weekend activities of the Chairman and the Doctor? Your spies are truly superior.

An FYI to readers of this blog, All Star online voting is open. I submitted my maximum 25 ballots today!

BG, I just stayed up all night ranting about the most important things in human existance, and my reward was to read this brilliant game recap.

It is just another classic tale of the game, our boys, the joys and tribulations of being the protagonists of all that is good about baseball.

AND this recap was brilliant even with relatively little dialogue, which is often the apex of your stories of our Twins and their long road to glory.

AND we won, and it was about damn time.

(wow, I haven't had any substances and I'm blathering this? I guess 5 AM really is bedtime.)

oh, and on our two youths and their affliction: moderation, boys. Moderation. Don't ruin a good thing. And remember to vary...

(sorry.)

It's a glorious new morn' and the hillside's dew pearl'd and the lark's on the snail and God's in his heaven, etc. Everything is set right, and now the Twins will win and the WhiteSox will lose and we'll get a new ballpark downtown and the sun will shine in Minneapolis and Scotty "the Body" will be voted off of Idol.

Kurtis -- Ack! I didn't watch, and I didn't vote for Bo! The last time I forgot to vote, he wound up in the bottom two! ACK!

Okay, now that that's out of my system...

El Presidente (who I can very easily picture doing a one-handed handstand, levitating baseballs with Yoda on his foot) is now three wins away from Clemens' record of most consecutive winning decisions. I have no doubt he'll make it (especially if, if the rotation holds, he does not wind up pitching against the O's), but that's only the record for the AL. Does anyone here know what the record is in the NL? How many wins does he have to have before the other pitchers in the majors are required by law to kneel as he takes the mound?

I would *love* to see our most worthy and trusted President go head-hunting this year. I want to see him matched up against Randy Johnson and Curt Schilling, and send them home crying. I want the Astros to make it to the World Series, so he can whoop Clemens' butt in Game One. I get very tired of hearing about the Unholy Trifecta of Old-Ass Pitching in those three, and only hearing a mention of "Oh, yeah, and Santana won again and struck out about six million batters" on ESPN. So I want El Presidente to nail them to the wall.

I'll settle for him just continuing to win, of course, but it's important to have goals.

I read the USA Today on a daily basis...and I don't know if it's just me...but is anybody else bothered by the lack of box scores in their sports section?

I've noticed that the Twins have maybe had one or two game-recaps in the last two weeks in the paper, and in those one-two weeks...they've only had like one box score from a game.

It's not just the Twins either. Everyday there's only about two or three box scores from the entire AL, likewise with the NL.

It kinda sucks...can't see the final numbers, and can't read about the start. It's always fun reading what others think of the MN teams.

(With the notable exception of the Chiacgo papers) ;)

Halfway through last nights game, I very much expected to see Sooz having chats with the Twins about the higher moral ground. Two errors? When for most of the game the Royals didn't have one?

But neither error caused a run, and we won, so I guess it worked out. If you're going to make bad throws, make them when they don't count.

But an exciting game, nonetheless! Congrats to the President having the Twins most-wins-without-a-loss record!

Just Beth

How is it that I can actually see The Chairman and Morneau watching porn.

Chairman: "C'mon Doc, no one will know, really"
Dr Morneau: "Well I guess if people did find out it wouldn't be worse than when we had to dress up like girls to live in the Susan B. Anthony Hotel last season."
Chairman: "That's the spirit Doc!"

Now, since I knew Johann K. Santana was pitching last night, I felt it was okay for me to sip off the Nyquil bottle for relief from my spring cold. I felt it was okay to relax, that everything was taken care of. However, in a moment of hallucination and delusion (who knew you weren't supposed to drink the WHOLE bottle?) I had a horrifying dream that the Twins fell apart and the Royals came back to win the division. I awoke in a cold sweat, in the dark and could only hear a faint noise coming from afar, as my ears adjusted, I was relieved to hear that it was still the top of the ninth and needless to say, I felt a deep sense of relief. As the Nathanest of the Joes finished off the Royals, I climbed back under my covers and snuggled with the kitties and all was right with the world.

Two errors, and Cuddyer's awful play that led to the run. If you're a major league third baseman, you should not be falling on your ass when you have to go to your knees to reach for a ball. And if you're a major league third baseman, you should be able to recover and throw to the ball to the first baseman...while he's standing on first base.

It's hard for me to despise Cuddyer more than I do right now. I mean, if he was hitting, I don't know, above .200, I could live with a few defensive gaffes. But to bat like Henry Blanco and field like Matty LeCroy? Ye gods.

A "Bossom Buddies" reference? Are The Doctor and The Chairman old enough to remember that show? "Tom Hanks was in something before The Terminal?"

I want to know where Al was during all of this. He's supposed to be the responsible father figure. f

So I've been calling our third baseman "Cudderror" for a year or two now. Last night, Himself suggested that Cuddy have two nicknames. One for the field--"Cudderror"--and one for batting--"Cuddaver".

After my beer stopped shooting out my nose, I heartily agreed.

Don't worry Carrie, even us Astros fans who worship Clemens (and/or Randy Johnson and Curt Schilling as they are both former Astros..) acknowledge that President Santana is the best pitcher in all the land. Of course it's hard not to like Clemens when his ERA is a 0.32. It's just a pity we lost all our good hitters and now are approaching KC suckitude offensively.

See The Full Bosom Buddies reference at:
http://www.bat-girl.com/archives/000415.html

Last night I was unable to comment on the thread because as much fun as it would have been, I could either be in front of the TV or in front of the computer. Not both. The Twins always win that battle. I do have a few random thoughts though.

The camera in the outfield. It was windy and it was shaking all over the place. I blame it on the headache that I had by the end of the first inning.

Santana/Nathan: Your approval rating must be through the roof right now.

Michael "Holy Shit I Actually Got on Base" Cuddyer: I know you probably don't want to hear about Corey, but last year when he was in a slump, he beat up a chair. I suggest you do something similar (hard to imagine, I know).

Doc Morneau: I would think that of all people, you would be very careful not to hit a guy in the head with a ball. Even though it was a terrible play, I couldn't help but laugh. And call my mom to laugh with her about it. Oh, and one more thing doc: lay off the porn!

That said, I must get back to work. Happy "Administrative Professionals" Day to all!

>>>I blame it on the headache that I had by the end of the first inning.

What I meant to say is that I blame the headache on the camera. Sorry for any confusion.

That's right, for crying out loud I'm an admin and I forgot it was Admin Professional Day (they should still call it Secretaries Day, I think it lost a lot of it's oompf when they changed the name).

Happy Admin Day to all my fellow admins!!

I wonder how many kittens or middle infielders died over the weekend as a result of the Chairman and the Dr?

One more thing about the game. Was it just me or did anyone else notice that it seemed like there were more Twins fans than KC fans in the small group of people who came to watch the game (Because it's too small to call it a crowd)?

infield,
"Cudderror" is priceless. Surprised I didn't think of it. But I am going to use it every chance I get.

>>Pena replaces the "Good Bullpen Pitcher" with "Someone Just Up From AA," a chap by the name of Ambiorix Burgos, which is all very appropriate because Batgirl has been popping a lot of Ambiorixes to get through these games.

That makes two of us, BG. And my prescription is about to run out. If I'm jonesing too harsh, can I score a quick fix from you?

Well, I came up with this nickname for a kid on my club baseball team, but Cuddy is definately making a run at it after the kid vacated the position by quitting.

Michael "E-5" Cuddyer. I know it's kinda negative, but, hey, his play is kind of negative. And well, him being #5, playing 3rd base and generally making errors like he's some combo of LeCroy and Hocking, well, E-5 just fits right now.

Dearest Mr AA,

Anytime.

Sincerely,
BG

Let's go back to this name. Ambiorix. Wtf? What does it all mean?

Anyway, it made me start thinking of other amusing names in MLB:

Coco Crisp

Milton Bradley

Tim Spooneybarger

Alex Prieto (reminds me of a burrito at Taco Bell...I'll have an Alex Prieto w/cheese!)

and my favorite MN Viking name...

Obafemi Ayanbadejo

You said it about those silly cut-off jerseys, dude. Last night the Royals became my girlfriend's least favorite team solely on account of their millinery!

Has anyone else noticed that when Joe Nathan is on the mound -- even when he's totally kicking ass -- he looks like he's having the least fun ever, like he's in the middle of a physics pop quiz or something and every new equation/pitch is stabbing him in the heart?

Dear Torhu -

I remember the pre-internet days when the USA Today was the only way out of towners could get any real information about the Twins. If I recall, it was also the first paper to print comprehensive stats (for the sass-less crowd). However, the internet has made USA Today irrelevant (except when you're on vacation).

I also recommend reading the local papers of our vanquished foes (Chitown specifically) to hear them makes excuses about losing to the Twins.

Finally, dear Twins fans, relax! It's only April!

PS Cuddyer is terrible right now but not as bad as Rivas so Terry Ryan (a secret Bat-Girl fan) since you're reading this, please dump Rivas, move Cuddly to second and let TerTufTif play third.

Dearest Batlings,

Mr. Boliva speaks wisely. It is only April. Fear not, my friends--have faith.

Love,
BG

Carrie - The Major League record is 24 held by Carl Hubbell (I think).

Wow, hacks on LaTroy, Guzie, the Bitches and Rivas? This article has something for everyone!

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=schoenfield/050426

Dear Babushka:

Your comparison of Willie Harris (last night's shortstop sub) to Jose Valentin was totally inappropriate. Jose Valentin would never have let that ball go through his legs. He would have fielded it cleanly, and then thrown it to Vacaville.

-Shoeless Joe

P.S. I've been to Vacaville. They have an In N Out Burger there.

Dear Roscoe:

Yeah, I noticed that too. Sheesh. My ulcer started acting up just watching Nathan pitch. I'm so tempted to holler at the TV "Relax, Joe!", but if his nervousness is what it takes for him to have a 1-2-3 inning, I don't want to jinx it...

Yours,
k-bro

On a completely unrelated to last night note:

Please find your county comish and tell them you want a ball park. I've been reading and hearing of all the people that have been contacting them to tell them to vote against it. Let's drown them out. Here is a link to find yours.

http://www2.co.hennepin.mn.us/voterinfo/commissioner/search.jsp

Even if you don't live in Hennepin County contact one anyway.

Muchas Gracias!
-HK

ndtf - I missed the game last night, but I also hate the wind-shaken outfield camaras. This seems to happen far more frequently at Kaufman stadium than elsewhere in baseball. Perhaps we have finally found an appropriate antecedant for the "it" in Hawk Harrelson's annoying pre-game command to "Sit back and strap it down!" (Arrgh.)

And TBird - I admire the nickname, but as a former Seattlite, I have a soft spot in my heart for another player who was exasperatedly referred to by that name: Edgar Martinez. (Pre-the whole knees disintegrating thing.)

And everyone: I don't care if Lima pitched like the second-coming of Cy Young. How do we keep ending up in close games with the Royals? And where's our "moral highground"?!

I

Diet coke through the nose...again.

BG, you rock.

Dear Dr. Morneau & Chairman,
Please do not hurt your wrists..they are much needed to provide power in our line-up:)

A truly concerned fan,
Mic

Squiddie, I am neither a father, nor responsible, so I feel no need to comment on onanism. I am merely an old person, and, I get crotchety, [pun intended} when posters to B.G. celebrate victories when we go ahead by one run in the 4th {for instance}. So I don't post, plus, I am single, and my palms are kind of sore.Al

Squiddie, I am neither a father, nor responsible, so I feel no need to comment on onanism. I am merely an old person, and, I get crotchety, [pun intended} when posters to B.G. celebrate victories when we go ahead by one run in the 4th {for instance}. So I don't post, plus, I am single, and my palms are kind of sore.Al

Squiddie, I am neither a father, nor responsible, so I feel no need to comment on onanism. I am merely an old person, and, I get crotchety, [pun intended} when posters to B.G. celebrate victories when we go ahead by one run in the 4th {for instance}. So I don't post, plus, I am single, and my palms are kind of sore.Al

HooliganKat has a brilliant idea. Anyone who lives in Hennepin County should contact their commissioner. I just sent an email to mine, encouraging her to take a short bit of time to vote in favor of the stadium. I emphasized the minimal impact to the taxpayer and the near-zero risk to the county.

Additionally, perhaps BatGirl could have her legal team create something of a "digital pettition"? Something the readers could "sign" to show their support for the park?

Remember, Justincredible and the Chairman have been into the naked ladies for a while. Rad Bradke even gave Dr. Morneau a painting of one:

http://www.bat-girl.com/archives/000457.html

Say Rah,

A truly excellent article. In case our fellow batlings don't read it, I'll post the Rivas comments in their entirety. Ahem.

"Minnesota Twins: Ron Gardenhire wasn't much of a big-leaguer player. He lasted a couple years as a utility guy and was back in the bush leagues. Luis Rivas is a lot like Gardenhire. Except he has a regular job! For the love of Harmon Killebrew, can someone please tell Gardenhire that Luis Rivas is a lousy stinking player? He doesn't get on base, he has no power, his fielding range is minimal."

You might expect me to just sit back and smile at this high-profile exposure of Rivas' ass-crappiness. Never. NEVER. It's by sitting back and not calling out Luis for playing like poo that he's been allowed to slide by with a roster spot for what seems like an eternity. This is a battle that must continue to be waged, until Rivas is either shagging balls in Rochester or pawned off on some poor unsuspecting major league team with brain dead management (Colorado? Kansas City? He'd be a PERFECT Royal).

And it says something about the quality of our team when the only reason they can come up with that we won't win the division is that Luis sucks so hard. Oh, Mr. Schoenfield, we're well aware. All too aware.

P.S. Due to the increasing prevalence of people named Chris posting on this site (who are totally not me), I have abandoned that name in favor of a more distinctive handle. But when you see sarcasm-laden rants on how hard the Rivas/Lohse/Romero triumvirate totally sucks, or treatises calling for Punto to start at second, my you'll know it is I.

Say Rah, I noticed all the bashing in the article, too. Guzman's had a rough couple of weeks or so. I was, I have to admit, interested in the Rivas rant, too. Seems my dislike of him is not irrational.

As for Cuddyer, I dunno. He's pressing, I think. He's in a bit of a slump at the plate and that's affecting his whole game. It's kind of a snowball thing. But he'll be ok. He's a solid ball player and I have complete faith in him getting back on track both at the plate and in the field.

mmmarkiep,

He's been on track before?

;)

Just wanted y'all to know that I had the privilege of listening to the KC feed of the game through XM last night while driving, and the announcers couldn't say enough nice things about your Twins. I cannot remember precisely what was said, but I will paraphrase:

They started out talking about Santana's Rule 5 acquisition and how he wasn't that proficient in his first year. Then they credited Terry Ryan for sticking with his game plan, that started around 1999 with players like Hunter, Jones, Rivas, Mientkewicz, Koskie, A.J., etc. Though the team lost more than 90 games in 1999 and 2000, Ryan (and Kelly) stuck with them and they turned out to be pretty good ballplayers. And now Santana was arguably the best pitcher in the MLB, and has the potential to be in the conversation for best-all-time someday.

I mention this to you because it wasn't until the commercial break that I realized I was listening to the KC feed. That is how much respect was shown by the KC broadcast team for your Minnesota Twins. Congrats.

You might want to lay off the KC bashing. Bad karma you know. Feel free to continue to bash the Bitch Sox (any color Bitch Sox will do).

Regards and good karmatic thoughts to all,
YankeeFan

Those sleeveless jerseys appear to be sweeping through the major leagues at an alarming rate. In my opinion they were only excusable for teams such as the Marlins who play in extreme hot and muggy climates. OK, maybe not even there. In any event, if they should ever somehow reach Minnesota, I hope our boys have the fortitude to refuse to be seen in 'em.

Smitty

For a while, they didn't have the CF camera, all behind home plate for a while. Couldn't see pitches at all. And then the CF camera is back and it doesn't shake. It's like they realized the cameraman was drunk and called up a guy from Omaha (AAA) to replace him.

Not only is it only April, but history is on our side. The Twins tend to get the suckiness out of their system early--sometimes april, sometimes may. The Bitch Sox save their suckiness up every year (with interest), then spend it in August. And they tend to get more bang for their (suckiness) buck, to carry the metaphor a bit too far.

Bit of irony there, that this Rivas-lover was the one to point out the Rivas-hating article. I have to admit that his performance in the field has slipped over the years and his talent at the plate has always been nonexistent. I guess I've stuck by him out of some sick sense of loyalty.

Is it time to look for a suitable replacement? I've had my eye on that Bartlett kid for a couple weeks...

"a major case of the Nook Logans"

That just doesn't sound pleasant. Yuck. I hate the Nook Logans.

On another note, We really can't get down on the Chairman and Dr. for their incident over the weekned. They're just trying to fit in with the "normal" 21-25 year old males in the world. They're amazingly talented, almost supernatural people and they just want that chance to seem "normal" once in a while. Maybe? i dunno, i got nothin.

come to think of it, those boys should be pullin in more tail than, well... what i'm saying is they shouldn't have any problems with that. Even in Detroit. Glad the weekend's over, Maybe tonight we'll bust into an offensive explosion. Is the Jackal pitching?

Perhaps especially in Detroit, Tinger, where I imagine they seem even more god-like in comparison.

Sure Coco Crisp is funny, but what about our own pitcher Boof Bonser in AAA Rochester. Is everybody ready to ride the Boof train once he makes it to the bigs?

My friend Stiles is ready to ride the Boof train.

Scott Howard

Dear Mr. Fan,

Batgirl does not intend to bash the Royals (except the pixie shirts) but rather discuss them as they are. And she remembers well what it is to be them. Her heart bursts with pity for them and she hopes they regain major league status soon.

Sincerely,
BG

Yankee fan,

Good luck to Mr. Stiles. Does he live in Grenich Village?

I say it's too early to pass judgement on Cuddyer. It's APRIL people. All that I'm saying is give CUD a chance.

I did like the Cudderror/Caddaver though. Most humorous.

BrundleFly,

Actually, Stiles doesn't take trains. He generally operates the Wolfmobile while I ride around on top while various Beach Boys tunes blare from the speakers.

Helpfully,
Scott Howard

Boof enters the game. Crowd goes crazy. Song in the background is... Sheena Easton's "My Baby Takes the Morning (boof) Train" of course.

We're mere months away from that possibility.

YF,
I think many of the batlings are too young to recall the cinematic treasures of the mid-80s. And images of a fuzzy Michael J Fox come to mind whenever I hear about Mr. Bonser.

wasn't McFly's arch enemy Biff? Biff/Boof close enough.

Anyone check this out today?
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=caple/050427

Caple is wearing the Pioneer Press World Series victory shirt.

You can never go wrong with a well-placed "Teen Wolf" reference.

Actually, yes you can. It would have been out of place in the Pope's eulogy, but it most definitely would have added some much needed pizazz to the Prince Charles/Camilla Parker Bowles wedding.

Batgirl,

Thank you for not mentioning Mr. Morneau's nickname in your blog entry today. After pondering Mr. Morneau's health situation both during the off-season and so far this year, I've come to a conclusion: the problem is the nickname.

Let me explain.

There was at one time (and maybe still is, I don't know) an old Jewish custom that newborn children aren't named after very old but still living relatives. The reason, according to my Jewish friends, is that the Angel of Death isn't terribly bright. He comes down from Heaven with the assignment to collect the soul of Mordecai Rabinowicz, finds the bassinette, sees that the name checks out, and shrugs. "At least he's not very heavy," thinks the Angel of Death, and afterward there is much sadness in the house.

If the examples of Yogi Berra, Nuke LaLoosh, and our own dear but daft Lew Ford can be trusted, I think the Baseball Gods are likewise not too terribly bright. And after a half-season of hearing young Mr. Morneau referred to as 'Doctor', they somehow got it into their collective heads that they had to go through the entire Encyclopedia of Medical Misfortunes, because, well, this kid doesn't have a lot of experience and how is he going to pass his licensing board so here, kid, have a little pleurisy - don't mention it, we're happy to help.

May I respectfully request that Mr. Morneau's nickname be changed to "Young Hickory"?

--
David Michael Wintheiser

YF,

As an owner of a video store, I can't believe I couldn't figure out the reference to such a fine film as "Teen Wolf". "Teen Wolf Too" with "Arrested Development" star Jason Bateman as Todd Howard was also delightful. I wonder if Boof has seen them?

My dearest Batgirl,

Thank you for raising the awareness of your followers to the issue of sleeveless "pixie" shirts in baseball. I find them absolutely dreadful, with the exception of the Pirates. I have seen at least eight other teams sporting the sleeveless shirts - Reds (tolerable), Indians (poor), Rangers (dreadful), Angels (disgusting), D-Backs (abominable), D-Rays (appalling), Rockies (ghastly), and the Royals (just plain icky).

This is a trend that disturbs me. This has become nearly as offensive as baseball teams wearing their shameful black or blue, red, or purple, and even green softball jerseys. One team even wears god-awful camouflage. To save me from poking out my eyes, sometimes I can only listen to to your John Gordon on the radio.

Thank you for your fashion awareness. Please use your power to change baseball fashion and eliminate atrocious uniforms from the landscape of your national past time.

Ciao,
Georgio

Young Hickory Morneau... Interesting... I kind of like Doctor myself, because then if I so choose to settle down and name him my boyfriend, I can say, "That guy who just hit that huge home run is my boyfriend. He's a doctor." And then my mother would be very happy, because the only thing she would like more than me having a doctor for a boyfriend would be for me to have a home run hitting doctor for a boyfriend.

I still cry for poor Justin when I hear about his pleurisy... I've had that twice, and it sucks a thousand donkeys.

thank you, David Michael Wintheiser, for bringing it up yet again.

*sniff*

Roscoe and other batty ones-

Yes, I worry about Nathan. He looks like he is close to an anxiety attack when he starts to work. Still, he pitches like the Joe he is (The Nathanest) splendidly. Perhaps a Xanax, to chill ever so slightly, before an outing? And yet he delivers and so, perhaps, anxiety fuels his attack.

those little vests worn by the Royals. I think I remember in grade school I used to wear something similar. Yes I remember--part of the girl scout uniform (35 years ago!). The little vests are what school girls wore in the 60s. Kinda prissy on grown men. they gots to go. Now dare I also say that the current ensemble of NBA players also remind me of school girl culottes also circa 1960.

I am wickedly happy that the bitch sox lost last night and, of course, content with our win. Yes, it is only April. My current mantra.

In speaking of the presence or absence of major league baseball in Kansas City, I am disposed to wax pedantic and remind (heh) Batlings that our beloved Twins were born, like Jean Harlow, Charlie Parker, and Micky Mouse, in Kansas City, where they played as the Blues in the Western League from 1894-1904 before moving to Washington and joining the American League.

Ah yes, I remember that opening day like it was yesterday. I threw 3 strong innings that day.

- T. Mulholland

Is anyone listening to the Bitch Sox vs. A's game? It's mayhem out there. Joe Crede got hit by a pitch, then they told him to come back to the plate because he didn't "get out of the way" then Ozzie came out to argue the call and he got booted. Crede popped up his hit and was out, so he was naturally pissed and threw his bat toward the White Sox dugout and they threw him out too.

Mayhem I tell ya, mayhem.

Thank you Oakland! I appreciate you taking 2 out of 3 from the Bitch Sox. It's very helpful.

Wow. I've been following the Bitch Sox game online and all I got was "Joe Crede flies out." That is SO not what happened, Internet! For shame.

Thanks for the update, HooliganKat.

Kat- i watched it on MLB.TV, and i have to say, it was some of the most exciting ball i've seen in a while. The wheels are coming off and its not even the end of april yet. Love it. Absolutly Love it. Crede leaned away, but as the ball started breaking, he leaned in and dropped his elbow into it. It was hillarious. I give him a 6 on the bat toss... Not much for distance, alot of power, but he threw it too hard into the ground to really get anything big for distance...

Must modestly defend/inquire about my Not-Boyfriend-But-Boy-On-The-Side:

No one is curious to see Luis at SS? I am. And if that happened, who's best at 2B? Cuddyer, who is not distinguishing himself in the field or at the plate right now (and may those conditions be temporary), and Tiffee at 3B? Bartlett at 2B? Ah, the head spins.

Seems Rivas now gets double portions of disdain (his own, plus the share previously allocated to Guzy).

Speculatively and respectfully yours,
qjw

The Senators had a 2nd baseman named Tony Roig, who was worse than Luis, but, he only played a few games before being replaced by Mel Holderlein,{whose name I am recalling wrong}, whom, in turn was replaced by Herbie Plews. Hoderlein and Roig hit zero h.r.s in their careers while having career b.a.s of .212, and.252 respectively.Plews crushed 4 while hittihg .262 career. These guys were all worse than Luis, but, not by much, and, they were disposed off more quickly. They had a few guys{ Reno Bertoia comes to mind}who were worse than Cuddyer, but, again, they were soon gone. This was for a team that never contended, so I cannot explain the presense of Rivas,and Cuddyer for this length of time. Maybe they are playing badly because they aren't any good -at all-forever, and ever. Al

Jeez, I only got to see the last 2 innings so I missed it.

Hard to believe a 2-1 game with the Royals could be that exciting - or perhaps BG embellishes a bit? ;)

Perhaps it's because of our senior prank (we wrapped an entire classroom in tinfoil) or just pure providence that I thought of it, but shouldn't we call it these the "Reynolds Game Wraps"?

BG never embellishes!