Perhaps if all the batlings and batkitties everywhere could donate a nominal amount, WE could get the stadium built and give Batgirl the naming rights.

Just what sort of vegetarian fare would you like to see Batgirl?

Even the Beeatch Sox have vegetarian fare:

http://chicago.whitesox.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/cws/ballpark/cws_concessions.jsp

My old veggiehead roommate who grew up in Oakland was overjoyed on his first trip to Comiskular.

Seriously, though...there's gotta be a way for the Twins to get a park through public financing. Methinks that the "Twins Teritory" campaign is a serious push for that...telling all of Minnesooooota that the Twins belong to them, and deserve a happy sunny place to play even if it means the taxpayers bear the burden.

Then again, you could do what we did here in the big 'hicag when Soldier Field needed renovations and institute a hotel room tax that goes toward stadium costs.

BitchSoxPride,
Ilk

The previous reference caught my attention & this second one makes it imperative that I find out...

What movie is the "I just threw up in my mouth a little" line from? I know & I just can't remember. It's aggravating my OCD and I'm not getting any work done.

Dearest Say Rah,

Batgirl was paying homage to Donnalove's excellent reference to the eponymous cinematic ode to the sport of dodgeball.

Love,
Batgirl

p.s. as for the veggie food, if they had veggie dogs, Batgirl would pass out with delight.

>>Perhaps if all the batlings and batkitties everywhere could donate a nominal amount, WE could get the stadium built and give Batgirl the naming rights.

Do French fries and pizza counts as veggie food

Dear Batgirl,

I totally agree with your position. It’s such a complicated issue with no clear-cut answers.

As a Twins fan, I wouldn’t mind if some of my tax dollars went to help fund a stadium. However, I can also see why my schoolteacher friend who has a hard time going to the public library because it’s closed may not agree. And really, because other stadia were built with tax money, is it now a requirement that all are?

What I don’t understand is why someone (Mr. Pohlad perhaps, but not necessarily) wouldn’t want to build a stadium as a money making venture in and of itself. This person would have complete control over all aspects of the revenue, from leasing to parking permits to concession sales.

I suppose the sheer absence of this approach is an indication that it may not be a great business venture. I just don’t understand why not.

Yours,
k-bro

PS: Hug a hockey fan today. It’s not a good day for your favorite NHL fan.

Dearest Mike,

Metrodome pizza is gross.

Love,
Batgirl

"Threw up in my mouth a little"

I believe this was first uttered cinematically in "Dodgeball", but long time readers of the Sports Guy on Page 2 will recognize this as one of his favorite lines for the last several years. I don't know if he stole it from someone else, or if it's originally his. Thought you guys might like to know.

As for the Dome, as someone that saw baseball games there for two years, then moved to Chicago and enjoyed Wrigley Field in the summer (read: Memorial Day to Labor Day) I think the fine people of Minnesota need to do whatever they can to get one of them retractable roof thingamajigs. As much fun as the Twinks are to watch, it's not the same game without some sun in your grill.

I can understand the reluctance for public financing, especially in light of the aforementioned heinous blackmail policies of MLB, but there are good ways to get around that without totally screwing the loyal citizens who benefit the most from a new stadium. Just make sure Scrooge McPohlad doesn't get all the stadium revenue.

They have vegetarian food in the dome. Haven't you seen the condiment bars?? Saurkraut for everyone!

Dearest BatGirl,

When looking through your lists of demands, I noticed one thing missing, and immediately thought "How odd, apparently BatGirl doesn't mind not facing homeplate in her seat."

Regards,
IcePhoenix

Did you know that I've never seen Dodgeball and had no idea where that came from?'

Also, vegetarian food? Ugh.

Dearest Ice,

The incredible pain Batgirl described above comes from sitting in third base seats and having to stretch one's head toward home plate. Batgirl does, indeed, mind.

Sincerely,
BG

Dearest Donna,

I believe they used that line in the commercials quite a bit.

Helpfully,
BG

>>It could be called the HHH Metrodome and/or Carl Pohlad Memorial Shitheap.<<

Sounds about as appetizing as vegetarian hot dogs.

/sorry

>>Just what sort of vegetarian fare would you like to see Batgirl?

Ice cream, nachos, peanuts, cracker jacks, cotton candy. sheesh, what more do you want? And can a Dome Dog really be considered meat? Only in the most liberal meaning of the word, I would argue.

As for stadium funding, I don't know what the solution is. I'll say it again, I think the best bet for the Twins to get a new stadium is for the Vikings to leave town. Unfortunately, I'm afraid that the Twins will contract or leave town before the Vikings do. My problem with the issue of libraries, etc. vs. stadiums is that nearly 2 million people a year don't visit libraries and spend money in the surrounding businesses. And, no, I'm not anti-library, I love libraries. I haven't BEEN to one in a very, very long time, but I grew up in them.

Ah yes. It was Dodgeball. I now remember the context too; Ben Stiller's character was hitting on Mrs. Ben Stiller's character.

And this has nothing to do with Twins baseball... Sorry. Back to the discussion.

I love Dodgeball. The movie, and the game itself are great!!!

Fav Line/part

Ben Stiller... "That's me taking the bull by the horns" (points to enormous painting of himself wrestling bull) "It's a metaphor." ..."but that really happened, yeah"

Baseball ... tofu ... apple pie ... and Chevrolet!

Well, Batgirl, I agree with most of what you said, but quite frankly, I think this whole trend of expecting REAL FOOD at a ballgame has gotten out of hand. I think it must have started in Seattle or San Francisco. In my day you ate your greasy hot dog and drank your watery beer and were happy, dammit.

Dearest WordSmith -
I agree with you about the whole REAL FOOD thing-I'm very happy with my overpriced Coke and greasy hot dog & hot dogs are always better at a ballpark but I have to admit the garlic fries at PacBell or what ever it is called now - were pretty bitchin' and I like that on some days the Mexican food stand is open at the Dome.

Dearest Batgirl-

I think they do have veggie food at the Dome -my friend Janie always finds veggie food - I'll ask;)

Ohh - couldn't the Twins have like a peck on the cheek booth - I bet they would raise a ton of money!!

Have to run -
Much Love -
Wonder Woman

But "he hit it off the baggie" has such a ring to it!

I virtually refuse to go to the Crapdome, and I am a huge baseball fan. Unfortunately for the Twins, their owner shows no initiative to work towards a predominantly private solution to this mess. And as our wunderkind columnist Nick Coleman notes in today's StarTribune, the Gophers are the ones "due" the stadium. The Twins may be second, but the new management of the Vikings will likely be more dynamic than Pohlad on his walker.

Glen Taylor for Twins owner! Can we please recruit him?

Win Twins!

AMEN

Mrs. Martinez

To clarify:

AMEN to batgirl's missive!

Mrs. Rivera

Batgirl,

I don't think you can name a new stadium Corey Koskie Memorial Stadium until Corey Koskie dies. How can you have a memorial to somebody who is still alive?

Kenny - I was just thinking the same thing. Perhaps she took his signing with another team harder than we all thought and has some sinister plans in the works.

If the Twins hope to gain public funding for a new stadium, I think they need to do one of the following, in order of preference:
1. Offer the public some share of ownership
2. Get new ownership
3. Offer some kind of gesture of permanence that doesn't hinge on the funding. Have the Pohlad's say "We're not moving or contracting regardless, but we need to get out of the Shithole."

And am I the only one that actually likes Domedogs?

Dome Dogs are naaaaaaaaaaaasty.

I even eat those 2/$.99 gas station ones and I can't stomach those gross Dome Dogs.

Actually, I have found one concession stand in the upper deck that sells Gardenburgers. I have had them twice. They're actually OK. They give you a nice dark green leaf of lettuce and a tomato to go with it. I don't remember exactly which one it is, but I spent about an hour with my vegetarian ex-wife looking for it.

Incidentally, my vegetarian ex-wife, before discovering the Gardenburgers, used to order just the bun from the hot dog stand and then fill it with sauerkraut and mustard. Yum!

>I virtually refuse to go to the Crapdome, and I am a huge baseball fan.

Either these two statements don't go together, (i.e you must go or you're not really that big a fan) or this is really, really sad for you. There's some pretty exciting baseball being played in the ol' Dome these days.

>If the Twins hope to gain public funding for a new stadium, I think they need to do one of the following .... (is there a fourth ellipse for something that ends in a colon or just three?)

I'm afraid that the Twins best hope for public funding is to either a) replace the majority of the citizens of Minnesota with citizens from another state or b) move to another state. Given people's attachment to their lake cabins, snowmobiles, ice houses, etc. I'd say a is out of the question.

I like Dome Dogs. I pay for it, but I like them a lot. Mmm. And I love those 2 for a buck dogs at the SA, too. Guilty pleasure.

1 - I definitely go with hole over heap.
2 - Exactly. I'm old enough to remember snowy and miserably rainy Met Stadium games. The weather is the reason we dug ourselves our Dome-hole in the first place.
3 - Fer sure. And thanks fellow citizens, Minnesota and the Twin Cities are hanging in there.
4 - Agreed. A community can't claim a franchise unless it's willing to invest in it. Like our moderator, this also hurts me to say, because I agree that the owners are jerks. Matter of fact, I believe this more than ever now that I've finished Jim Bouton's book. It's just that I love the Twins and major league baseball more than I've ever disliked Calvin, Carl or Bud.

Dome Dogs are not food in the earthly sense, and eating them is not done in the name of nutrition, sustenance, sodium deprivation, or gluttony. No, the consumption of Dome Dogs is a ritual, perhaps even a sacrament, that transcends our practical understanding of what food actually is.

Sadly, the sauerkraut is no longer available on an all-you-can-eat basis from those metal tubs at the condiment stand. It now comes in those little plastic cups, same as the (inadequately proportioned) cheese food product that accompanies the nachos. The cheese food product/nachos ratio is of course a deliberate conspiracy to make fans purchase an additional plastic cup of cheese food product in order to have some on every single chip.

First post, and I'm already off topic. Sorry.

The last time I went to game with someone who ate a Dome Dog, after the game, on our way to the parking ramp he said "Wait Here" and sprinted into the HCMC.

He was in there for 20 minutes.

When he walked out no words were spoken, but we all knew what happened.

Since the profile of the dome is convex, rather than concave, I vote for "heap". But i'm probably wrong.

What bugs me is that the absolute best place for a Twins stadium -- the Twinsville proposal behind Target Center -- is about to be taken off the table and developed for condos because of the state's inaction, and no one's paying any attention. That site is so practical and efficient that it's mind-numbing, and it will be that much harder to get something going now.

Know what else bugs me? Some guy's sanctimonious whining about Johan Santana's contract in today's letters section. Dude doesn't know a thing about Johan's "values."
http://www.startribune.com/stories/1519/5244993-2.html

I think the Eloise Pohlad stadium would be a beautiful idea and Carl should throw some money at it. I think that's all it would take to put him in a much better light with Minnesotans (particularly the sentimental group).

I'm not in favor of entire public funding, in reality, but I'd be willing for some money to be given to a stadium.

The only thing I like about an indoor stadium is that I'm one of those "definitely of northern european descent" people. An afternoon in the sun would turn me into a lobster... An evening in the sun would be awesome--as long as I wasn't facing west!

(And it could be the Corey Koskie Memorial Stadium, simply based on the fact that we're remembering the Minnesota Twin Corey Koskie, who is no longer with us.)

Just Beth
Who, too, will eat the Dome Dogs. I read last year that we were eigth in hot-dog sales amongst major league parks...

If a memorial requires death, then Corey Koskie Memorial Stadium is a memorial to Kosko's career death as a Twin. But then he wouldn't ever be able to come back. I think. Well, as a player, I mean.

Just Beth,

That is a most amazing statistic. Considering there were many more than 8 teams which outdrew the Twins, and the fact that Miller has to be #1 (unless they count the different sausage options as non-hot dogs), 8th is a tremendous accomplishment!

The Dome should go to arbitration with those numbers. :)

YankeeFan

I dream of becoming a Wiener Winner. Even if those buns stick in my mouth gear and totally gross out Mr. Ra.

We're probably eigth because there practically isn't anything else to eat BUT Dome Dogs.

KOSKIE TO BG: I'M NOT DEAD, YET!

So, if the Eloise Pohlad Memorial Stadium (or the Cordel Koskie Memorial Stadium for that matter) was to be built, what would people call it? The El? That's taken. The EPo? The CoKo? heheheheh. Any other ideas?

gjw - Yes, you are absolutely right: bring back the sauerkraut! Also, let's get the brown mustard out there! That's important.

When you're going to ball games in a shithole, the little things become important.

I imagine "dollar-a-dog" night is a contributing factor to the high hotdog consumption.

I always thought that the sauerkraut sitting out in the metal tubs was a little bit scary. You didn't really know how long it had been sitting there, vulnerable to who knows what.

If BatGirl and family had known TwinsGeek two years ago, they could have joined us on our raucous 4th of July tour bus trip to Wrigley and Miller parks. We had seats in the outfield bleachers in Wrigley, and seats right behind home plate in Miller. Guess which were better?

Obviously, there was no comparison. And if we do it again the year, we'll skip Miller completely.

If it's a gorgeous park, people will come. If it isn't, they won't. Whether it might rain on them or not doesn't make a damn bit of difference.

And a completly outdoor ballpark is going to be better than a retractable roof ballpark nine times out of ten.

Here's the correct link to the Strib letter: http://www.startribune.com/stories/1519/5244993.html

This is why we don't have a stadium. There are too many people who believe with righteous indignation that everything is an either/or proposition. If we hadn't given JS that contract, by God, the Twins could have given $40 million to build homes for Tsunami victims! They don't have anything to do with each other. If we build a stadium, the entire public school system, plus the libraries, are going to disappear overnight. *sigh*

Dear mmmarkiep

Sometimes people don't appreciate what they have till it's gone. MLB will move the team in a heartbeat if another city will pay for the stadium. I don't think the contration thing will ever be tried again, but the Twins could be the Las Vegas Twins or the Carolina Twins if the voting people of Minn continue to balk at any funding for a stadium. But look on the brightside,you can go to the library and follow the team from the Vegas news papers.

I don't live in Minnie, but I wouldn't be too surprised if either the Vikes or Twins move in the next 10 years because someone else gave them a stadium.

I willingly pay my taxes towards lots of stuff I will never see or use. So am I a horrible human being because I want some of my tax money, just this once, to finally go towards something I would enjoy?

When is it all right to build a stadium? When every Pygmy in New Guinea can read? Paint me with a big broad brush: I am pro-stadium and therefore I am also anti-tsunami victim.

>>If it's a gorgeous park, people will come. If it isn't, they won't. >>Whether it might rain on them or not doesn't make a damn bit of >>difference.

When I was a kid, my dad would tell me during breakfast that we were going to the Twins game that night (at the old Met). I would spend the entire day looking up at the clouds, praying for them to go away, 'cuz if it looked like rain, there was no ballgame for little Billy.

Rain makes a *HUGE* difference.

mmarkiep,

Re: stadium nicknames

I vote for E-Poh if only because it rhymes with "repo" which if I'm not mistaken is how Scrooge McPohlad got his start during the Depression. Or foreclosure, but whatever.

If it's an outdoor stadium, certainly the Ice Fishing Pohl will be appropriate in April.

The HHHHH -- Hubert H. Humphrey Heap/Hole??

I live in CA, now, and I'm a completely baised Twins fanatic, so I'm not qualified to say the people of MN should or should not publicly fund a stadium.

I will say, though, that I don't think the performance of the Twins on the field has any impact whatsoever on the likelihood of a stadium getting built. The Twins are in the same boat as the Vikings. New ownership is essentially a requirement for any sort of publicly funded stadium.

Why? Because I don't think the cost is the issue. Politicians are always willing to spend peoples' tax dollars if it'll pay out for them in the long run. Rich business men are, too, even Monty Burns.

But... if the state approves a tax increase and invests in the stadium, they don't trust Carl to operate the team in a way that will ensure a return on investment for the state. They didn't trust Red, too, either.

None of them want to take a risk that Carl will get his stadium revenues and then cut spending on personnel/operations to up his profit margin and keep those MLB revenue sharing dollars coming in. Then people stop coming to the games, local businesses go down the tubes and their tax dollars go away. Then what do you have? A nice pretty stadium that's empty, a net loss for the state, and a lot of politicians who have to start their practices up again. None of them is going to put their eggs in the basket while Carl is carrying it.

With new ownership, things might work out... without it, it's hard to think anything will get done. =(

P.S. - Scott Evil also said "I just threw up in my mouth a little" in Goldmember. But it was an outtake. =)

Batgirl,

While I currently reside in the reddest of red states, wherein vegetarianism equates roughly to arson on the moral scale, my previous home allowed me to befriend many vegetarians, so I understand your plight. I think, though, you're forgetting that we meat eaters aren't actually given much in the way of special treatment. What do people eat at the Dome? Mostly nachos, pizza or Dome Dogs. Two of the three fit in your diet restrictions, and the third has been denounced quite vigarously here as not fit for the most carnivorous among us. My point is that, if I were you, I wouldn't feel too left out. It's not a problem of meat vs. non-meat. It's a problem of good food vs. crap.

Consolingly,
FL

PS. I agree with everything else you said. Public funding in exchange for owner courtesy and appreciation.

I think I found out what Rincon did over winter.

http://www.i-mockery.com/booberry/default.htm

As much as I understand and empathize with the Dome's shortcomings as a baseball park, my German roots appreciate its (1) ubiquity, (2) effectiveness and (3) affordablility.

That said, the Twins need to pursue a cutting edge plan for a ballpark. Forget the entertainment-zone monstrosities that are all the rage today. If the dome was the last of the multi-purpose stadia, then let's not be the last of the faux-retro-but-not-really retro ones.

Let's do a Wrigley-style neighborhood bandbox of a ballpark. Just think: the retractable roof could be that much smaller.

On the dome's culinary shortcomings: www.stadiummustard.com. Bring it back!

Don't like the Heap? Let's trade. You can have Shea Stadium, with the Apple and all. You're welcome to the planes overhead, landing at Laguardia every three minutes except when the so-pampered tennis wusses play across the street. (Planes overhead would affect their concentration, poor things. And it might disturb the crowd paying $15/serving for strawberries and cream, too. :-(

I hope you find a site for and finance a new stadium. The Twins -- including anyone involved in baseball operations -- certainly deserve it for their performance the last many years.

Just let me know when you do, so we can arrange to move the Baggiedome here. It'd be a massive improvement.

mmmarkiep -

The Epo has a nice ring to it, if the Eloise Pohlad Memorial Stadium ever got built. But could we familiarly call it the Weezy?

Regarding ballpark food: there's something nice about actually good food at the park (ala Safeco). But killer clam chowder just wouldn't feel right at most ball games. My favorite park meal (in limited experience) is the grilled polish sausage at Comiskular with an enormous pile of fried onions. (I admit to pickily scouring the park for the couple of decent-beer booths, though. Some things are beyond compromise.)

Twins Geek, it's true that Miller Park sucks, but it's because the design is bad in many ways and not necessarily because it has a retractable roof. Safeco Field, for instance, is a park with a retractable roof done right. When you're inside that park with the roof open, you hardly even recognize that the retracted lid is there.

Wrigley Field is beautiful, but the one time I had a chance to visit so far, the game was washed out by rain. I spent all morning driving into Chicago, then taking the train to Wrigley (it broke down in the tunnel, twice), and got to sit in the bleachers for 25 minutes. People chanted, drank beer, one side of the field taunted the other. My view of the infield tarp was amazing. Then they officially called the game, and I spent the rest of the afternoon stuck in Chicago's freeway traffic. It wasn't exactly the experience promised in the brochures.

Not that I'd advocate putting a roof on Wrigley Field, but I have sympathy for those who have to drive a few hours each way for the one game they might get to see in person all summer, only to have it washed out. If the Twins architects do it right--and from the models and sketches, it seems they know what they're doing--I think we should be able to satisfy those who would like a roof while preserving the "outdoor baseball experience" on most days of the season, too.