Anaheim at Twins. Angels 8, Twins 3.
Oh, thank the maker! All this incessant winning was really growing tiring. I mean, Batgirl was going to lose all her sass and become some kind of blogging equivalent of Hillary Duff. The girl can rock!
Batgirl's not particularly distraught about today's loss; we won the series. And Terry Mulholland's Portrait of Dorian Grey act has been fun to watch, but like all demonic contracts with paintings, sculpture, and miscellaneous objets d'art, it was bound to end. That's not to say Terence John can't get himself ensorcelled some other way—maybe a fountain of youth (watch for snakes), or a bargain with the devil, or maybe its modern equivalent--the extreme makeover. Whatever his poison is, Batgirl cares not for his immortal soul. He's 41—that's clearly been mortgaged away some time ago, and anyway we need his freakish inhuman rubber arm.
There's been something sort of sweet about having Mulholland in the dugout and in the bullpen. Here's a man who's seen everything in baseball, from the Black Sox scandal to Roger Maris to when Barry Bonds was skinny. He's got some perspective, and I thought it was sort of sweet that he managed to counsel Doug through his whole emotional apocalypse. And I hope the team can keep him on during the playoffs, perhaps as some sort of Wayne Hattaway-like spiritual advisor.
The pitching was Hattaway-esque today, the bases were loaded so often that Batgirl was taken back to her own brief pitching career in WESAC softball, when after nobody volunteered to take the mound she said, "I'll try!" That was the last time Batgirl ever volunteered for anything again, or indeed put herself out into the world in any way at all. She has spent every day since hiding under the bed muttering to herself about strike zones. ...But that's another story.
It wasn't all Terence's fault, though. Poor little Jason Bartlett may spend some time of his own under the bunk bed tonight, regretting he ever volunteered for this whole business. His first major league start at shortstop didn't go what you'd call well--he committed two errors and generally acted like he'd never actually played the game of baseball before. Batgirl's heart bleeds for him; it can't be easy to start your first game in the bigs, especially when you are obviously a giant mental spaz. BatMom and BatDad's kitties are on anti-anxiety medication right now; you actually give it to them by rubbing it behind their ears. Maybe that would help?
Regardless and irrespective, the Twins can go into the Oakland series feeling strong. We're one game ahead of them right now, for second place in the A.L., and thanks to Brad "So Sleepy" Radke we'll be sending out our two best pitchers for the first two games. (Hey, I know Brad, if you don't let anyone on in the 7th Gardy's much less likely to pull you!) So, sleep tight tonight, my precious darlings, and come back tomorrow ready to solider on.
Posted by Batgirl at August 5, 2004 03:21 PMI could not agree more. We weren't going to win every game the rest of the year (although that would be quite a story!) and we are playing great. A loss like today is no big deal.
Soccerfan appreciates every reference to Oscar Wilde!
Posted by: Soccerfan at August 5, 2004 04:37 PMWay to win the series!!!!!
Anyway, I was having migraines throughout the game, so I was feeling almost pain in my head as Bartlett was causing the pitching staff.
Posted by: Stacy at August 5, 2004 04:45 PMPoor Bartlett, cutting his teeth in our toughest period of the year. Gardy should let the kid sit until late in games we already have in the bag, and let him start games against the Royals, Tigers, Ms, etc.
He needs to get a smaller hat, too. It looks ridiculous on him in his player picture.
Good series, Twins!!
Posted by: Haplo at August 5, 2004 06:20 PMIf Bartlett hadn't come up with umpteen errors this year in the minors, I could have written it off as rookie jitters. I wasn't surprised that he almost single-handedly blew Silva's CG shutout. But the prospect of a future infield of Bartlett, Cuddyer and Morneau is giving me the willies. These guys should report to Defense Training Camp (or whatever) immediately after the World Series, or sooner.
Posted by: Silo at August 5, 2004 07:52 PMActually Morneau's count of "DCHGT" or Doug Could Have Got That, stands at a platry 2. Only 1 of which was an error. As a Morneau proponent, I'm keeping track so I can bash any nay-sayers over the head with my observations. Plus, how many errors has Cuddyer made at 2nd base? And he caught that one double-play ball that Koskie almost over-threw.
Anyhow, what they need behind their ears, is a cloth, so they can dry themselves off. The great news is, that Oakland has lost the last two games, so perhaps the Yankees have cooled them off a bit for us.
As I feel Oakland is our great Nemesis as their Moneyball ways, and our Performance/Traditional ways cost nearly the same in 2002 (one of the few parts of that book I liked) it's always good to be able to face them feeling good about ourselves.
Plus we can show them a pitcher better than Mark Mulder OR Tim Hudson!
Posted by: Mimiru at August 5, 2004 08:48 PMRoyals 6, B-Sox 1 in the 7th!
Another God is good moment.
Posted by: RonDavis at August 5, 2004 09:03 PMBatgirl,
You, your expansive vocabularly and your cute penchant for clever yet obscure references always make my day enjoyable.
You truly are the Dennis Miller meets Douglas Adams of the baseball world (sans that whole untra-conservative pit that poor Dennis has apparently fallen into...oh well).
Posted by: Midnight Rider at August 5, 2004 09:22 PMCheck out the Dougie page at the Red Sox website.
http://boston.redsox.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/team/player.jsp?player_id=137006
The Metrodome used the same photo on the JumboTron last Saturday. It's Dougie in his Twins' uniform with the Boston "B" photoshopped in.
WESAC can be a very tough league.
Posted by: John at August 5, 2004 11:40 PMvocabularly?
Posted by: farnsworth at August 6, 2004 04:45 AMGood catch, Roarke. But you buried the lede in your story. The news isn't that Dougie's photo was doctored, it's that the Metrodome has Photoshop. Somewhere, in the doughnut-like maze of secret concourses and annexes of the Metrodome, there is a room with a very large Mac, a couple of graphics techs, and a copy of Photoshop. On a moment's notice, these graphics techs are able, like Stalin's photo surgeons, to substitute their own imaginings for photographed reality.
I may never trust the "instant replays" on the JumboTron again, now that I know of the Dome's hidden photo-alteration lab.
Posted by: arrScott at August 6, 2004 06:42 AMRoyals Fan says
1. Batgirl, you are hilarious.
2. Glad we could beat the Sox 2 of 3 this week. I really don't like those guys.
3. I may be looking for a new team after this year, I mean seriously, have you SEEN the Royals this year?
4. I traded Johan Santana in my fantasy league. I think it was the week before the Twins shut us out 3 times. I did indeed kick myself afterwards.
Hmm I use the PC version of Photoshop myself, being an anti-Mac kind of Mimiru.
Dear Royals Fan,
Please, even if you stop being a Royals Fan don't lose your Kansas City BBQ skills. Those are too precious to waste.
Hungrily,
Mimiru
Dear Royals Fan,
It is my hope to see the three non-Twins AL Central teams that have noble and glorious histories return to respectability (as DET and CLE appear to have in 2004) and rotate turns finishing about 3-5 games back of the Twins each season (not too close for comfort, but close enough to be exciting) for perpetuity. A wildcard berth every other year would be nice too.
It is also my hope that the once ignoble and inglorious AL Central team move to the cellar until their 100-year penance is complete.
In other words, thanks much for the help with the Sox and here's to a brighter future for your team.
amr
Posted by: amr at August 6, 2004 11:29 AMI'm not at all distraught about the loss either! An interesting (I thought) indicator of how well things have been going: I was unable to listen to the first half of the game, and when my very own VOR (thanks, Geek - it's perfect) called and said "Oh, my God! They're up by 7 runs in the 4th!", I actually thought it was us with the lead!!
And, indeed; poor little Bartlett. I'm usually screaming obscenities at the kids who come up from the farm and then act like they've never played the game. But our guys have me feeling so good of late, that I found myself thinking "Aw, poor dude - he'll come around." Of course, he is replacing Guzie, so that helps...
Keep it up Twins!!
C'mon Lew - keep it going my man.
BrotherLove just told me that Bert gave away the answer to the Aflac trivia question yesterday, minutes before the question was announced. They read the question, there was a pause, and then Bert says "you think anyone was listening?"
Did anyone else see it? I'm so sad I missed it.
Posted by: Donnalove at August 6, 2004 01:34 PMMany thanks to SDave for hooking me up with tickets for yesterday's game!!
I suddenly came down with a terrible case of baseball fever, which forced me to call in sick to work... and my kids and I had heaps of fun, even if it wasn't a win.
BatGirl, will you please make Bartlett go away? Somehow? Some way?
Posted by: TwinsGoddess at August 6, 2004 04:26 PMTwinsGoddess,
It's as easy as sending him back to Rochester and bringing up Augie Ojeda. Abacadabra!
Posted by: frightwig at August 7, 2004 03:30 AM