Detroit at Twins. Tigers 2, Twins 0.
Well, the good news for Twins fans is that trainer Jim Kahmann apparently managed to extricate Nick Punto from the gullet of Detroit pitcher Nate Robertson. As loyal and talented Batgirl regular Al says, Utility infielders play an important role in our society, and we cannot allow them to get eaten.
The bad news is today's starter, Jason Johnson, managed to swallow the entire Twins offense whole. You would think eating a concept would be more difficult than eating a utility infielder, but when that concept has managed just five runs in three games apparently it's easy as pie. Light-hitting pie. Without whipped cream.
Here's a lesson for the kids: being on the receiving end of a complete-game shutout is much less fun than being on the giving end. On the receiving end, your batters manage only five hits—and anything which even resembles a rally is promptly extinguished by a series of increasingly desperate-looking strikeouts. Come on baby, luck be a lady, this pitch is mine, I'm going to hit it yard, not just a little yard but way yard, and I don't care that it's coming to me neck-high, I'm going blast this thing then go home for the All-Star Break and my momma's going to make me a pie. That's right, a delicious, handmade Momma-pie with whipped cream, just as soon as I crank this neck-high pitch…
Oh, crap.
So, that's pretty much how it went today, with slight variations here and there, like Jacque Jones trying to extend a double into a triple with two outs in the eight and violating that cardinal baseball law, "Never make the third out at third base when your entire offense has been swallowed whole."
Johan, meanwhile, had a shaky beginning—which for him means requiring more than nine pitches to retire the side. And, just as in that last loss, there was that one bad pitch that ended up being the whole game—in this case, a two-run homer by Eric Munson. (This after the Tigers made two outs at home, thanks to some hot-hot boyfriend-on-boyfriend Koskie-Mauer action.)
But a few innings in, Johan was his old self again, pitching through eight innings and striking out eleven. You couldn't really blame him for being a little distracted at first, after Cleveland starter Jake Westbrook was selected over him for the All-Star Game. Sometimes I think Joe Torre just doesn't respect the Twins. No really. Say what you will...I'm entitled to my opinion.
Ah well. A three-game losing streak isn't the best way to go into the All-Star Break, but it sure beats the holy hell out of an eight-game one. (See: Last year at this time.) We wish all the Twins a happy and relaxing break, filled with all the pie they want—as long as they remember to come back hungry.
Posted by Batgirl at July 11, 2004 04:04 PMBatgirl fans will want to go to today's Arts and Entertainment of the Strib and find Batgirl on page F15.
Posted by: Jeb at July 11, 2004 04:19 PMOr, in case Batgirl fans prefer to skip the paper products: http://www.startribune.com/stories/384/4854568.html
I'd just like to note here that in this 4-game series:
EVERY RUN THE TIGERS PUT ON THE BOARD WAS THE RESULT OF A HOME RUN.
Food for thought.
Posted by: Mimiru at July 11, 2004 06:42 PMMinor Addition to above post: Personally, I feel a bit insulted that using statistics is considered "male." But really, if the price of Batgirl fame is that, I would take it.
The Twins must be switching the run support to Bradke and Lohse now. No more Johan run support it seems. Santana never has a 'bad' outing. The only thing he has that is 'bad' is one pitch per game that he leaves up a little too high. A normal pitcher who gives up only 1 or 2 runs gets the win. But you never know in the world of the Twins.
Posted by: megjay at July 11, 2004 06:55 PMThe nice article about Batgirl's Twins blog in Sunday's S'trib (see "Bookmarks" in the Book Section) illustrates the growing recognition that this (excuse me) novel form of sportswriting is receiving. The many witty contributors make reading this baseball blog seem like a visit with friends, say, like going to the tavern in "Cheers" or even hanging out with "Friends", but, of course, much more profound given the metaphysical significance of the game.. In fact, speaking of "Friends," isn't it about time that Batgirl receives a mention on the actual sports pages where she belongs as a "close personal friend" of Sid Hartman's.
Posted by: roy hobbs at July 11, 2004 08:38 PMThat Jake Westbrook bubble in the picture is EXACTLY what I thought when I found out he was chosen to replace Curt Schilling. I seem to recall reading somewhere that Torre was going to use the player ballots to choose the replacement - you can't tell me players in this league think that highly of Jake Westbrook. Sure, he's having a breakout kind of year, but... oh well. Maybe another pitcher will go down and Torre can pick the intimidating... Cliff Lee.
Shaz!
Posted by: Shaz at July 11, 2004 11:24 PMIt was a very frustrating game for me to watch. Boyfriend swallows his DH-hating, indoor baseball-loathing pride to treat me to a Twins game and a Dome dog, making sure to buy tickets where I can check out Dougie's cute butt, and 1.) Dougie doesn't play, 2.) the Twins lose, putting a jinx on future Twins outings for the two of us. Even my ill-fashioned rally cap couldn't save poor Johan, who pitched VERY well and did not deserve the loss.
However, I did receive a lovely parting gift. Yesterday was the "Every Book Counts" promotion, and the nice Red Shirts were handing out "Stripe's Little Sister" to all fans under 14. Apparently this included me, too, even though I am a whole SIX MONTHS older than Joe Mauer. I hope he got a book too, as it was really a cute story about tigers.
This last series was NOT a cute story about tigers. And the illustrations were poor.
My GF will be tickled to know her word made the Sunday Strib. She owes it all to Batgirl. Thanks, Batgirl!
Posted by: mmmarkiep at July 12, 2004 02:55 PMDear Ms. Love,
Batgirl feels your pain.
Sincerely,
Batgirl
Dear Mr. P.,
Please thank your GF for making Batgirl look good.
Sincerely,
Batgirl
Dear Batgirl,
You look great all on your own. Your humility is only surpassed by your talent, charm, wit and intellect.
Love always,
mmmarkiep
Posted by: mmmarkiep at July 13, 2004 01:50 PM