Twins at Arizona. Diamondbacks 6, Twins 2.
Dear Randy Johnson,
Hello. My name is Batgirl. I'm from Minnesota. Have you ever been to Minnesota? It's really great. Right now, I'm at the BatFamily's cabin on the lake, and it's incredibly beautiful up here. You could come up some time and I could take you out on the boat; I could pull you behind the boat on an innertube, which is really fun, as long as you don't mind getting wet!
Big Fun for the Big Unit!
Anyway, the reason I'm writing is because I thought you might be interested in becoming a Twin. Then you could buy a lake house of your own for the 4th of July weekends and stuff, and I bet you could get a really phat boat!
Well, I know George Steinbrenner has made some overtures toward you, and that's nice. I mean, the Yankees have a really good shot at the playoffs this year, and that's cool. It's been a lot of fun to watch that team come together after the rebuilding years. There's nothing like seeing a bunch of guys who came up through the minors together and then struggled together in the majors finally cohere as a winning team. Of course, Mr. Steinbrenner is looking for a veteran to guide this young, inexperienced team through the pennant races (and perhaps the playoffs!) and it's only natural that they might want you.
But I thought you should know there are other options. The Twins are a really fun team. Everyone says so. The bullpen guys make a rookie carry all their snacks in a Barbie Backpack! How funny is that?! Plus we’ve got this crazy guy named Lew Ford who once burned himself ironing his shirt while it was still on. Isn't that hilarious?
Anyway, we're in the midst of a pennant race, too, and it looks to be an exciting one. But, the thing is, we really need a fifth starter, and I think you're just the guy to fit the bill. You'd have to take a little pay cut—like maybe 80%--but, really, how much more money do you need? We're talking about quality of life here. Good schools, arts and culture, nice people, lots of lakes, plus you wouldn't have to hit anymore! And we have another old pitcher on the team so you would have someone to talk about the '70s with, and you could go together to scope out the good retirement homes. Oh, and fabulous blogs.
So, why don't you just drop me an e-mail and we'll start working out the details. I can help you find a nice place to live, and we can have that boat ride!
See you soon!
Love,
Batgirl
I just got back from vacation and spent this afternoon reading an entire week's worth of Batgirl's musings and listening to the Twins try to sweep but instead getting swept by a certain tall man.
Dear batgirl,
Your writing makes me very, very happy.
Everyone else, I feel that being swept by the Bitch Sox this week was just the baseball universe righting itself after the Twins picked up two wins on the Sox over both teams' series (serieses?) against the Expos.
Also, I have a baseball related query,
The little Blue bead fell off my Twins' alternate home (Red) Cap. Not sure how it happened, but I found it. Does anyone know how to reattach this?
Much love,
amr
Batgirl,
Glad to read you think Randy would fit in well with our boys. I've thought that for a while now. I read a big article about him in an ESPN magazine from a while ago. Sounds like he needs some fun and goofy guys. We got the group.
Sometimes you just have to plain old LAUGH at the Bitch Sox. They sweep us and think they are kings of the division. Well, watch out I tell them, it ain't over yet. I mean come on, they are over there getting swept by Cubs while we're taking over again. HAHA.
Anyways, we won the series. That's good. Didn't expect much at all against Randy, I was rather pleased actually.
I'll let you go now.
Megan
Oh hey, point out how good the hunting is in Minnesota. He likes to hunt right?
Posted by: Mimiru at July 5, 2004 01:27 AMDear Batgirl,
You're out on the lake with Randy Johnson. Why the scowl?
Posted by: frightwig at July 5, 2004 05:31 AMHAHAHA. What a great posting. Thank you BatGirl for brightening up my day
James
Posted by: James at July 5, 2004 07:24 PMYep, Randy Johnson would be a great addition to the Twins.
He would fit right in with the Twins because he's a nice guy too, just don't talk to him on a day in which he pitches.
Posted by: ketut at July 6, 2004 08:45 AMIf we have to trade the man who pitched a perfect game and reached 4,000 strikeouts in the same season in which the man accomplished said accomplishments, there's no team I'd rather trade with than the Twins.
P.S. -- Can we get Justin Morneau now? ;-)
Posted by: Stefan at July 6, 2004 11:21 AMWe forgot to mention our exceptional run support!
Er....yeah. Talk to Brad.
Sigh.
TL
Posted by: LondonTwin at July 6, 2004 02:40 PM