Twins at Royals. Royals 2, Twins 1.

Team Batgirl and the BatKitties are wearing out the replay button on the TiVo watching the last play of tonight's game. If you're a Royals fan--well, you’re having a shitty year. But you also think Tony Graffanino beat out Cristian Guzman's throw to Doug Mientkiewicz for a game-winning hit in the ninth. If you're a Twins fan, well, you're having a shitty week (I mean, the freakin' Devil Rays????) and you see that Guzie made a fantastic throw that beat Graffanino by a half-a-step. You will be glad to know that the BatTiVo clearly supports the latter view, even if the first base ump didn't so much. Maybe he needs a TiVo. Perhaps we should buy him one. Or some of that new laser surgery. You know, for his eyes. You can't believe the things they can do with lasers these days.

So, alas, the blown call gave the Twins their seventh loss in the last nine games. In the late-innings, it looked like we might be headed for another extra-inning endeavor. (We haven't had one in weeks; it's like I don't know the Twins anymore.) With the score tied at one in the 8th, Juan Rincon relieved starter Brad Radke and pitched a beautiful inning. Then the Twins couldn't convert a one-out walk to Cuddy in the ninth and went down without scoring. (It didn't help that reliever Jeremy Affeldt seemed to be mopping his facial sweat off with the ball after every pitch.) In the bottom of the inning, Rincon struck out the first batter on three pitches, but then there were seven pitches in a row that didn't exactly get into the strike zone. So, with two outs and runners on 2nd and 3rd, Graffanino hit a grounder to deep short, Guzie hurled the ball to Dougie, and, well, the rest is TiVo history.

Alack, the whole affair meant we wasted yet another gem of a pitching performance by Brad Radke (and really, right now one should not be wasting gems) who only allowed one run in seven innings. If you're a Twins fan, you say we failed to convert on myriad opportunities. If you're a Royals fan, you say that we were shut down by the Royals' new ace, thirteen-year old Zack Greinke—who, after his graduation from junior high, during which he gave a very moving address on individual responsibility and the bright new tomorrow, (even though his voice cracked a few times, but nobody really noticed) was headed for another great summer at Camp Pitchiewoo, where he planned to refine his lanyard-making skills and perhaps finally make a move on that cute Ashley Popadopalous who goes to Pitchiewoo's sister camp, when he got off the bus a stop too early and ended up in KC's starting lineup.

Circled, Zack Greinke. On to high school!

The bright spot, if you're a Twins fan--which of course you are, because that's what brings the Batgirl family together, and Batgirl loves and cherishes you all, and knows that together we will get through this difficult time--was Michael Cuddyer's defense at second. He played there today for the injured Rivas, Prieto, and Punto (I think that's it, but I can't really count that high). His skill at 3rd base was not, well, skilled exactly—but as evidenced by the BatTiVo, he seemed at home at 2nd. And that's not a phrase we’ve used often this year. Even the BatKitties were impressed.

BatAlert: Saturday's game is in the afternoon, and it's not on that new-fangled tee vee thing Batgirl has taken so for granted, so come, one and all—huddle around your radios, revel in the commercials for Jared Jewerly, Gutter Helmet, and that blasted Vibe-drink--and send the Twins some good vibrations of their own.