Twins at Bitch Sox. Bitch Sox 11, Twins 0.
"Hubris!" cries loyal and prescient Batgirl reader Cassandra in the comments section of last night's game recap. Hubris leads only to pitching suckiness Batgirl! Be careful! But that is the trouble with being named Cassandra, no one every listens to your warnings, no matter how apt.
And Cassandra is not alone. "Hubris!" cries Goober in his Goober's Goat of the Day, making Batgirl said Goat. I? Moi? Batgirl? Yes, okay, yes; I should have known. The collective psyche of our pitching staff is such that it is most prudent never to mention the pitchers at all. Who knows what we might say? Who knows how our words, our syllables, our very tone of voice might affect them? Please, whatever you do, do not pet the pitching staff. Do not tap on the glass. Do not try to pick them up, or acknowledge their presence in any way. Carry on about your business. Nothing to see here.
It should be noted that despite his rousing success thus far in BULLPEN IDOL Grant Balfour didn't exactly have the best game today. There were some walks. And some runs. And not very many outs at all. All leading to an ERA of 40.50, which is sort of impressive, in a way.
Silva only lasted three innings today, but this is his first really bad start all year, and as long as he doesn't make a habit of it…
We lost. Big. But I care not. You hear me Goober? Everyone has to lose sometimes, and whether we give up one run or 24, several of those times are going to come against Mark Buehrle. We took the series and came out two ahead of the Bitch Sox and Frank Thomas got ejected from the game for arguing balls and strikes.
That said, I will be more careful in the future, Cassandra. It's about time people listened to you.
Posted by Batgirl at May 16, 2004 05:44 PMDear Batgirl,
It is indeed a relief to finally see the best team win. With all the trouble the Sox have been having with the Twins the last few years, I'd begun to worry that goodness and Chicago South Sideness might never again prevail. But today's pounding of the Twins restored my faith full force. If the Sox can learn to spread their runs out over more than one game, I think they'll really start to make things happen. I wanted to add, that despite routing for the wrong team, you are a great writer and asset to baseball. It almost makes up for calling the best team in the history of baseball the Bitch Sox. Try not to get too down when the Twins start their big tailspin now. Go Sox!
Dear Mr. Fan
You are very sweet, if slightly misguided. I cannot hold that against you, though--Batgirl counts among her dear friends a Yankees fan or two. We all will see it through, somehow.
Very sincerely,
Batgirl
Blame Buster Olney! He pimped Silva on FRIDAY.
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/columns/story?columnist=olney_buster&id=1800718
Dear Mr./Ms Town,
Thank you. I feel much better.
Gratefully,
Batgirl
Um...BitchSoxFan-
That should be rooting, not routing.
Silly sox.
LT
Posted by: LondonTwin at May 17, 2004 05:37 AMDear LondonTwin,
My dictionary lists the following relevant entries for rout: (2) a tumultuous or disorderly crowd of persons; (3) a rabble or mob; (4) an assembly of three or more persons doing some act towards a violent and unlawful purpose, to the terror of the people; and (6) a large evening party or social gathering.
Given how accurately these entries, particularly 4 & 6, describe the crowd of people I see being blown out of the Metrodome exits at the end of games, I thought my subtle transformation of noun to verb was called for. But perhaps they no longer teach English in England. So to make things as clear as possible. GO SOX!
Posted by: Sox Fan at May 17, 2004 08:20 AMDear Misters Twin and Fan,
Batgirl is, as always titillated by discussion of usage and such wordly things.
Happily,
Batgirl
*Wonders why no one has questioned how a club that threw the 1919 world series is the "best team in the history of baseball"*
Posted by: Skorch at May 17, 2004 04:20 PMThe ChiSox are not even the best team that Bill Veeck ever owned. At least a team owned by a Veeck could be entertaining, even endearing; but now that the South Siders are owned by Jerry Reinsdorf, and have taken up an incessant bitching, even that much good will is gone.
Posted by: frightwig at May 17, 2004 06:01 PM