Seattle at Twins. Twins 1, Seattle 0
A few days ago, Batgirl and her gorgeous and sexy husband Jeb were driving to a Bat-meeting and noticed something inexpressively wonderful. There was, on a corner lawn of a lovely house on a pleasant street, a ring of fencing, and inside that ring frolicked six puppies. There were humans inside the puppy pit, too, who were picking up various puppies and snuggling them close, while other puppies skipped around the pit in exuberant dances of puppy glee.
This puppy pit has become Jeb's happy place, a place he has to go to whenever the Twins bullpen pitches in the 8th. Jeb needed it very badly on Tuesday, when J.C. Romero gave up four runs. And he needed it again today, when a sparkling Johan Santana pitching performance threatened to be ruined after Terry Mulholland loaded the bases against the Mariners in the 8th. Oh, we'd seen this before, my friends. This does not end well. A good pitching performance by the Twins, a close game, the bullpen in the 8th. Crash! Bam! Allakazam! Losing game. Jeb gets nervous and starts swearing, and I say, "My dear husband, go to the puppy pit. Go. You'll feel better."
And then, there, with husband happily in the puppy pit, J.C. Romero came on. Yes, that very same Juan Carlos who so shattered us emotionally the other night. He came on and, crash! Bam! Out went the Mariners! Joe Nathan came on in the ninth and executed a perfect save, and there, my friends. There you have a one run Twins win, a rare and wondrous shut out. Santana, Juan Carlos, Nathan, Batgirl salutes you! Jeb salutes you! The puppy pit salutes you! (Mulholland, not so much. But we have to be gentle with him, he's way old.)
Joe "Automatic" Nathan pitches for his tenth save
Joe Nathan is a Lego of Color! And he dresses like Bootsy Collins! Bring the Atomic Dawg to the Happy Place!
Why must I feel like that
Why must I chase the cat
Just the dog in me
Nothin’ but the dog in me
Bow-wow-wow-yippie-yo-yippie-yeah
Bow-wow-yippie-yo-yippie-yeah
Bow-wow-wow-yippie-yo-yippie-yeah
Bow-wow-yippie-yo-yippie-yeah
Joe Nathan looks fearsome in that getup, but isn't he wearing the uniform of the Space Lego Twins' opposition?
Posted by: frightwig at May 13, 2004 08:26 PMDear Mr. Wig,
The opposition are Medieval knights, which, as we all know, did not have robots.
Helpfully,
Batgirl
I love the image of Jeb in a puppy pit.
Posted by: russell at May 13, 2004 11:52 PMBecause bat-girl.com is finite, and I can only reread the site so many times, I sometimes turn to mainstream media to slake my thirst for baseball news. Last night, in the dark, I watched 'Baseball Tonight' on ESPN.
During the Twins highlights (always too brief and late in the show, unless they're playing the Yankees) one of the talking heads did a pseudo play-by-play of the JC Romero performance. His final analysis: "JC had a rough year last year, but he's really coming on strong in 2004".
Am I losing my mind? I'm thrilled JC bailed out Mulholland on Thursday, but on what planet is he having a strong year? Is this some sort of oblique reference to "The Passion of the Christ"?
Help me, Bat Girl. I'm confused. I need my own puppy pit.
Posted by: Freg Nergstrom at May 14, 2004 10:10 AMDear Mr. Nergstrom,
Batgirl feels your confusion and pain. Team Batgirl has noticed that one of the Baseball Tonight guys, Batgirl believes it is Peter Gammons, wants to take J.C. Romero in his arms and hold him gently. Yes, J.C. seems to be Peter Gammons's boyfriend, and we cannot hold someone accountable for overstating his boyfriend's case a wee, can we? For everyone knows that, while J.C. had an awesome April, he has been somewhat shaky thus far in May and can, as of yet, hardly be said to have returned to his old form, much as we would very, very, very much like him to.
Sincerely,
Batgirl
'bout damn time you threw a little love joe nathan's way. he's not just any relief pitcher, you know...(cue the "Fistful of Dollars" theme)... he's a CLOSER!
don't the twins have some studly young thrower at AAA who also has the "CLOSER" mystique? for the sake of my three fantasy teams for which mr. nathan is racking up mr. holtzman's favorite statistic, i hope not. (but then, being a phillies phan, i have a bent towards phatalism.)
Posted by: jeffstoned at May 14, 2004 11:38 AMOl' #39 is definitely on to something. More striking similarities:
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000001FCM.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg
http://espn.go.com/i/mlb/clubhouses/stadiums/min_photo.jpg
Make my funk the B.G. funk... I wants to get funked up.
Posted by: kw at May 14, 2004 12:25 PMBut, what will happen when all the puppies are given away or sold ...Where will your famously handsome and talented husband go to unwind other than in his study or at a twins game? Does this behavior mean a dog may soon usurp your melodius cats domain? I am truly worried for their mental health!
Posted by: "terrific therese...." at May 15, 2004 08:51 PM