Last Tuesday, Torii Hunter hit a double with two outs in the ninth inning to deprive Eddie Guardado of a save in his first appearance against the Twins. As the Pioneer Press has reported, Torii joined Eddie the next day for a meal. While the contents of their conversation were not reported, Team Batgirl had an operative on the scene.  Thus, in honor of the Mariners visit to Minneapolis this week, we bring you exclusive photos of the dinner, as well as a transcript of their highly revealing conversation:

Torii: [voiceover on the subway] When I was ten-years old, growing up in Pine Bluffs, Arkansas, I felt like an aristocrat--- all I thought about was art and music. Now, I'm 28, and all ever I think about is baseball. I'm joining Eddie for dinner, but I'm not looking forward to it. Eddie is a profound person, and often forces me to look deep within myself.

[Torii gets back off of the subway and walks to the restaurant. Eddie greets Torii outside.]

Eddie: It's so nice to see you, Torii.

Torii: And you.

[They enter the restaurant and sit for dinner.]

Torii: You know, Hannah Arendt was always writing about the fact that the more involved you are in corruption or evil, and the more areas of your own existence there are that you therefore don't want to think about, the more distorted your perception of reality will be in general. In other words, we all have every reason to hide from reality, and that's a terrible problem. But I mean, frankly, when I play a baseball game, one of the things I'm trying to do is to bring myself up against some little bits of reality and share that with the fans. But now it bores me.

Eddie: Okay, yes. We are bored. We're all bored now. But has it ever occurred to you, Torii, that the process that creates this boredom might be an unconscious form of brainwashing, created by a world totalitarian government based on money? 

Torii: That had not occurred to me, Eddie.

Eddie: Even with Spiderman on the bases?

[They eat in silence for a moment.]

Eddie: When I was traveling this off-season, I met an English tree expert, who had devoted his life to saving trees. He said to me, "Where are you from?" I said, "Seattle." He said, "Ah Seattle, it's a very interesting place, but they have no hitting this year." He then went into his pocket and he took out a seed for a tree.  He said, "This is a pine tree."  He put it in my hand, and said "Escape, before it's too late."

[Torii sips from his glass.]

Torii: Did that trouble you?

Eddie: I felt liberated.

Torii: Why is that?

Eddie: Even in the darkest times, like when I pitch against Oakland, there are these pockets of light that are, in a way, invisible planets on this planet. And as this planet diminishes, we can take invisible space journeys to these different planets.  But to do this, we fist must establish islands of safety where history can be remembered and human beings can continue to function.  Only with these islands of safety can we maintain the species through the coming dark age.

Torii: You mean Batgirl?

Eddie: Twins Geek, actually.

[They finish their meals.]

Torii: I want to thank you for dinner, Eddie.

Eddie: It was a pleasure.

[They leave the restaurant. Torii heads back to the hotel.]

Posted by Batgirl at May 10, 2004 07:49 PM